Real Men Don't Cry

so masque formal was the shit i never have had such a good time at a formal. everyone was so happy and it was such a laid back fun night where all the theatre kids gt to dress up and act all classy. i loved rockin the tux. and winning the volleyball award was awesome... i don't have to whore myself out anymore lol. and only one word can describe all the ladies there.....wow..... every single one of them looked immaculate.

and this title...... well yea thats crap because i spent the last 17 shortest hours of my life ballin my eyes out like i little girl and i will never forget it. Kiss the Wall is probably the best experience i've had with the Masque or LaSalle only because i spent almost a whole day, 17 hours, with the people and friends i care about most Sara's mom said that no one is worth talking about for 16 hours and she was right i don't think 16 hours is enough. hell, i didn't think 17 hours was enough. i just met some of these seniors and it hurts so much to let them go you'd think i knew them since high school. i would be lying if i said i didn't think it was going to be hard, but i never thought i'd be as much of a mess as i was last night and this morning. as much as i tried to get myself prepared for it, watching Gwen get up on the chair and kiss the wall and then take her final bow broke my heart. i have never been attached to someone so much as i am to her and i have never made a friend like the one i have in her so quickly. i wish i had more time, but i know even if i did get another year i'd wish for the same thing next year. thank you for all those who were watchin out for me last night, who knew how hard it was for me to try to keep it all together, Kate, Pam, Elise, Meg, and especially Sara. the only part about last night that i really enjoyed was being able to sit with you on the couch crying and you saying you wish you could protect me from this stuff. that meant more to me than you will ever know.

To Gwen, even though i knew i would not be able to speak last night, and well i didnt really, i hope that you can see what an impact you've made on my life in the short time i've known you. you will never understand how much i love, respect, and look up to you. seeing you kiss the wall last night was the hardest thing i've ever done and i guess in a sense thats a good thing, but i didn't want it to be you. youv'e been my support for the time that i've been here and i don't know what i will do without you next year, even though ur living a little while away. there is so much i want to tell you that i could never express in words so for now i guess i'll have to settle for an I love you and i will see you later because i will not let this be a good bye.........
later dayz

Craziness is my life

ok so its been a while or at least its felt that way.... so much stuff has gone down both bad and good, but idk how im goin to make it through this week and keep my sanity. ok so thurday we went to the zoo instead of goin to my history class and let me say it was soooo worth it we saw a rhino take a huge shit and literally two min later i saw an elephant take a shit. "its penguins!!!!" i wanted to steal the outcast one but everyone else wouldnt let me. and just to let u know if anyone says duck sex is consentual they lied it is a full out rape trust me i saw it. i also was goin to try and pet the peacock but it looked ready to chop my finger off. right after i went to my game where we got destroyed in what ended up being r last game of the season. i went out drinkin that night so that almost made up for the fact that we lost cant remember exactly where we drank but yea then fri we had a case race where i redeemed myself form the last one and we only lost by like 2 minutes. saturday came in a very unpleasant way. woke up with a bit of a hangover and yea not feelin too hot, but sadly the game got cancelled which pissed me off because i would have liked to send our seniors off with a win. anyways i drank afterward with sara and allie and my lacrosse boys over at the apts. sooooo good its been a while since ive played beer pong. cuddling is always fun too that may have made my night because beer pong and cuddling is wat makes my world go round. today was closing night for shakespeare which was amazin by the way its goin to be sooooo wierd next year without the seniors ive just started hanging out with them all so much and its so fun but yea this friday is the formal and i am super hyped about it goin in my tux goin to look damn sharp. but before that i need to finish this history paper 12 pgs on german propaganda in ww1 and ww2 due thurs then i have to read a book on the last supper and realte it to davinci code and write another 12 pg paper for monday so i need a break from writing that paper which is why i am makin a blog so the next week will be hell until friday and if i survive this week and formal i may write another blog
later dayz

WTF does not begin to describe it

ok so im readin my lacrosse magazine and i realize i could have had so much more than what i have now. if i kept up with runnin id be winning mile races here and a contender in cross country meets but no i sortta fucked that up a bit and then i thought bout well damn if only i played lacrosse in high school who knows where i would be right now but i didnt do it because of track. so i only began to really think bout this wen i read an article about a kid in new york who had bone cancer went through chemo and radiation and shit and still will be playin for john hopkins next year (2005 ncaa champs in lacrosse) so hell why cant i have that kind of determination anymore? what did i lose since coming here that has made my whole mindset change? idk but its 3:30 am and i have work at 8am. tech..... well tech was the usual long ass project, except this time i actually got to help build somethin instead of waitin around for paint to dry. had a nice heart to heart with kate for a good hour in the lounge which was nice got my mind off things ok well now im goin cuz i have to clean my room since doug is gettin a visitor tomorrow at 7 fuckin am . god help him if i wake up before him because of his alarm....... there will be blood.
later dayz

Naming

ok by demand of melissa i need to let everyone know she was the one who dubbed me "Angel Hands" so there u go mongi you now have the respect that you deserve

Home Sweet Home?????

WARNING: this blog came at a time when craziness was happening so it's pretty damn long.

Okay so what is better than coming home for the weekend with a 12 page paper to write? Coming home on Easter weekend with a 12 page paper to write and of course your parents want to be with you every waking second of the day. Its okay though, they will understand how much work I need to do and leave me alone. Oh wait no they won't. It's been a very crazy weekend so far. So much shit's gone down, some I saw coming and other things just came from nowhere to smack me in the face. Whatever I've always rolled with the punches and I guess it's time to do it again.
Getting home on Friday was enough adventure for the whole weekend. I wake up at like 7:30, so I can catch the 8:22 shuttle to the subway station with Kate, but had to call a security car because someone overslept :cough Kate cough:, but whatever that wasn't to big a deal I wasn't on a schedule anyway. I jumped on the China Town Bus (which by the way is soooo cheap and kick ass) and I got to New York in a record time of 1 hour and 40 minutes. That's when I realized I had NO money in my wallet, but I had an ATM card, so I'd take ney out to jump on the subway and then the train home. No that would be tooooo easy. Of course i only had $6.23 in my account, so I couldn't get any money. I called my dad and he said he could only go to Madison Square Garden to get me and couldn't get into China Town because he was pickin my mom up at the airport in two hours. What do I do? I WALKED FROM CHINA TOWN TO MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!! For those unfamiliar with NewYork, the two are nowhere close to each other. I walked for about 50 minutes carrying a container and bag of winter shit I was going to leave at home. Now not only was I walking 50 minutes and a crazy number of city blocks, but I was carrying over 100lbs worth of clothes and containers. $2 would have gotten me there, but I didn't even have that. Finally I made it to MSG and I figured the worst would be over...... dumb move George.
At home I unpacked my bag and tried to work on my 12 page history paper, but it didn't work out to well. I gave up on the paper for a while and wound up having an interesting talk with Meg, which I saw coming and had absoluely no bad feelings about in the end. More talking with more people made the night go by fast with no dents made in the paper.
Saturday i was all ready to hit up the library(on my own accord mind you, this is VERY rare) and break into the history paper, but no way that could happen because again that would be toooo easy. My mom decided this would be our day together. She took my sister and me out to breakfast and then we went with the family to the cemetery to my grandpa's grave. It's something we do every Easter and Christmas and i began to think about how much I've changed not only this year, but especially in the last 5 months or so. I dont know what sparked this thought, but something did and I realized that I left feeling real good about where I am in life and that's odd for me, since I'm almost always stressing about something and being pulled in three different directions at once. We went out to the mall for a while, which obviously led to nothing productive and finally we came back home. So now that I'm home I should be doing work, right? WRONG. I've been being jealous of Sara for going to the beach all day and just sat around watching Remeber The Titans, that is until I thought of starting this blog.
Okay well it's time I got crackin on my paper because it will never get done at this rate.
ONLY 2 MORE LACROSSE GAMES LEFT THIS SEASON----- IF YOUR READING THIS YOU NEED TO COME TO AT LEAST ONE.
Later Dayz