WTF does not begin to describe it

ok so im readin my lacrosse magazine and i realize i could have had so much more than what i have now. if i kept up with runnin id be winning mile races here and a contender in cross country meets but no i sortta fucked that up a bit and then i thought bout well damn if only i played lacrosse in high school who knows where i would be right now but i didnt do it because of track. so i only began to really think bout this wen i read an article about a kid in new york who had bone cancer went through chemo and radiation and shit and still will be playin for john hopkins next year (2005 ncaa champs in lacrosse) so hell why cant i have that kind of determination anymore? what did i lose since coming here that has made my whole mindset change? idk but its 3:30 am and i have work at 8am. tech..... well tech was the usual long ass project, except this time i actually got to help build somethin instead of waitin around for paint to dry. had a nice heart to heart with kate for a good hour in the lounge which was nice got my mind off things ok well now im goin cuz i have to clean my room since doug is gettin a visitor tomorrow at 7 fuckin am . god help him if i wake up before him because of his alarm....... there will be blood.
later dayz