Two Lives, One World

i was thinking today about how different things are when i'm at school and when i am home. school just seems so much more simple, while at home everything is so different even though ive lived here so much longer. i began to think about life in philly compared to new york. you realize that you basically are living two different lives and then you realize how much things have changed, you realize one of the hardest parts of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking down the sidewalk to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for eighteen years. I am missing my LaSalle crew like whoa and I got to see most of them only a few days ago. College life is so different from anything else ive ever experienced and i guess im still getting used to having to balance the two and give up on trying to merge the two.

Later Dayz

Reunited At Last

Monday night i made the lovely trip down to south jersey and it was one of the best times ive had all summer. it all began when i got an im from dino he wanted me to know that he was back in ny and wanted to me to come down and chill with him so i said that he should come to jersey with me for the night. so after my meeting i met up with dino at the train station and we took the trip down to jersey. there was hardly any traffic. i guess we were averaging like 85 mph the whole trip. we left at 5 530 and got to jersey around 715. it was soooo great to see my pammy even though i saw her less than a month ago, but still i missed her so much.

so finally everyone arrived and it was dino, davey and his friend, melissa and her friend, greg, sam fran, rjb, chris, jo anna, gwen, and of course pam and myself. it was sooo nice to see everyone its been so long since all of us have been able to hang out together as a group. good food, good drinks, and good friends all went towards making it a night that tops most others this summer. swimming and chicken fights made for a sore ass neck this morning, but it was so worth it. i got crazy black and blues all over my body. i was dirnking but idk how half these happened. i banged my toe in the pol which is why my whole toe is black and blue but i have em on my arms and shins and even my chest. idk it looks sortta bad but funny too. also jo anna and i were havin a fun time together. it was the first time that we really got to hang out together. gwen and i called up mike to talk with him for a bit since i hadnt heard from him in a while. it was great to hear from him again.

gwen and i had a really great talk. anytime that im with her we have these conversations that are just so amazing i missed that while i was home. we talked for a while about the new people who will be coming into the masque next year and for as much as i was not exactly worried about it, but more idk wondering how different things would be, she explained things to me about it all changes but made sure i didnt think id be "replaced" and her telling me that made me feel so comfortable about next year. i mean granted the thought of being replaced has crossed my mind multiple times, but gwen really made me understand that you cant be replaced in the masque. thats one of the best things about the organization. you hear people talk about how others will take their place and then you step back and realize that each person does something different and unique for the masque and for that they cant be replaced. so for being drunk i think it was a damn good convo. i can never explain in words just how much she has done for me.

ok so just for the record polling on the hair will stay open for a while longer and it looks like keepin it long is in the lead.

Later Dayz

Hair

ok so a whole lot f people have been telling me how long my hair has gotten and it got me to thinking "when i get my hair cut do i just get it cut a bit or go back to like junior yr of high school?" ok here is where the blog comes in handy.... tell me whether u like the hair long or short and ill get my hair cut depending on what you all have to say about it....
Longer hair:















OR.......

Shorter Hair:














So let me know which you all like better

Later Dayz

I Think I'm Getting Old....

my sister had her sweet sixteen on saturday night at metro 53 in the city. it was really nice, although i was the only one there who was above 17 besides my parents and the one sketchy father who decided he didnt want to leave his daughter alone at the party with boys being there. well anyways i sat at the bar and it was an irish run club so of course the bartender was this beautiful irish girl, so i sat at the bar eatting some food, drinking soda, and shamelessly hitting on the bartender. hey i have not been able to flirt with a girl in a long time and we all know i couldnt/wouldnt do it with any f my sisters friends, that is, unless i wanted to go to jail. later on in the night the "cotton eye joe" started playing so i was like how is no one dancing to this, so i pulled my mom and aunt up with me and we were in the back of the club and i taught them the cotton eye joe. it then hit me damn im one of those old people who sits at the back of the kids party with the other parents and dances. at that point im like screw it whatever, and we ended up dancing to the electirc slide, macarena, and the apache (yea the dance they did on the fresh prince of belair).

lately my sister and i have been getting along really well and its great dont get me wrong, but it also scares me a bit. shes really began to open up with me and we actually get eachother. at the same time im still the big brother and i still have this urge to like lock her up in a closet and not let her out for like 10 years, but im beginning to get over it.

so all in all it was a great party and katie seemed to have a great time and thats all we were worried about. damn shes like really growing up (i know i sound like a parent but hell shes my little sister give me a break)

Later Dayz

"You're The Only One I Ever Believed In"

Goo Goo Dolls "Let Love In", great song, my pick of the week. luckily i have it an awesome mix someone gave me :) . anyways, so i got two traffic tickets almost a year ago and finally got the court date for June 21, 2006. being that it was really getting to me i decided to meet up with my friend, who i basically knew since we were born, lauren and go to the bronx zoo. it was just what i needed to get some tension out of my life between working at three VERY inconsistent jobs and now having to face more money going towards car insurance. idk how to explain it but it was just such a blast and i no mary pam and anyone else whos been to the zoo this year.... or ever will agree with me. i got to see an elephant pee this time it was like a never ending stream. sadly, i saw no poopage from the animals, like i did when we were at the philly zoo. (ill put pics of the trip up here when i get them from lauren)

Then i had court at 6. well i really just got to see the prosecutor at 6 to see what she could do in lessening the charges. so i went with the poor college boy, first ticket, three jobs, paying his own tuition, barely getting by role and how if my insurance got raised with the rolling the stop sign ticket i would have to get rid of my car because i couldnt afford the insurance and that would mean i would have no way to get to and from school. so yea she dropped the stop sign to a broken tail light and she held the no seat belt one, but hey no points on the license. judge decided i owe $240 and almost $100 was from the processing fee. like damn really $100 to process it my ass. again all i can say is i have no points on my license. ill deal with the loss of money.

or will i? because i have officially hit the end of my recommendations list and have no one to go see for my cutco job. i was on a role selling it and now ive hit this big ass road blog with nowhere to go. oh go to my other two jobs you say? well abercrombie only schedules me 3 nights a week max with a 4 hr shift and at 7.50 an hour that isnt shit and the moving company only calls me like one a week if that. so basically i owe about $500 between the city of mt kisco and my parents. that god im a usa and work at the presidents office at school because i doubt i will have a single dollar to my name by the time i go back.

Know anyone who needs knives Cutco would be good for them give me a call 914 980 4797
ok shameless plug i know but i need the cash

Later Dayz

"Being Grown Up Isn't Half As Fun As Growing Up"

ok so originally i had no real title cuz well nothing really big has happened lately. then i realized i started a new job and my sister's sweet sixteen (part 1 of 2) was this weekend. i mean the new job with vector and cutco is goin well. im makin some good cash and the first week is always the hardest because its up to u to find the first few clients. so yea for all those against vector dont worry im still keepin my eyes open for anything thats at all sketchy. home is boring but this job gets me out and driving and when i go see pam the whole trip will count as a write off if i sell any knives there wooo hooo. yesterday was my sisters sweet sixteen party with the family. ill talk about that later on. yea so home's well.. home.

i noticed one thing since ive been back. home is not the same i feel like ive missed out on so much and there is no way to catch up on it. no one seems to want to help me catch up on it either. then with my sisters birthday party i didnt no when it started or who was coming. i knows it doesnt seem like a big deal but when people called and asked what time the party was and i said i didnt no they were like "well dont you live there" or "i mean u r her brother shouldnt you no" thats when it really hit me how much things have changed and it didnt get much better after that. the party was great dont get me wrong but all my aunts were like yea "u see cameron (the next oldest guy to me in the family) i guess he took over for you now that your old and in college" and i saw all them running around follwing his every move and i really miss that now. not the whole running around and being drenched in sweat thing, but the idea of it. idk i dont mind change but hell im an attention whore. thats where anything bad that has happened this summer came from. it was a result of me wanting to be the center of all things. my cousins all constantly talk about me and i love it they all know how old i am, where i go to school, all that stuff but to not be their "ringleader" i guess is the best word to use here, just sortta sucks. i hate to not be needed by people and i dont want it to be that way since i am hardly ever around with school and work.

Later Dayz

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.Say the following questions aloud, and press play.Use the song title as the answer to the question.NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
Song: Dodo
Artist: Dave Matthews Band
Comment: Someone who worries too much and is afraid to break the rules?? Yea I guess that would describe me pretty much.

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Walking In Memphis
Artist: Marc Cohn
Comment: “Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues In the middle of the pouring rain” I’m going to say umm… not good.

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Don’t Cha
Artist: Pussycat Dolls
Comment: ???????? WTF Either I’m really really vain and egotistical…… or my friends really want on me. I guess I hope the second one???

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Don’t Push
Artist: Sublime
Comment: “I want a lover but I can’t find the time” “Strap with protection or struck with disease...disease Laughter, its free Anytime just call me” Ok it also talks about drinking at a bar all night. So basically all I can look forward to are one night stands? Ehh whatever, I’ll take what I can get.

How can I make myself happy?
Song: The Kids Aren’t Alright
Artist: The Offspring
Comment: Get the fuck out of my town before I get too fucked over? Hey, works for me.

What should I do with my life?
Song: Red Red Wine
Artist: UB40
Comment: Ok, so I’m going to drink wine constantly because some girl broke my heart. Sounds like I grow up to be an alcoholic. WOO HOO

Why must life be so full of pain?
Song: I Don’t Want To Be
Artist: Gavin DeGraw
Comment: So it’s because I have only been doing what others want me to do? I guess.

Will I ever have children?
Song: Sour
Artist: Limp Bizkit
Comment: Yea doesn’t look so good. Wow this sucks, I’m getting a bitch for a woman.

Will I die happy?
Song: Times Like These
Artist: Foo Fighters
Comment: So I leave behind the life I had with the bitch and become completely lost??? Well at least I get a second chance to start over.

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Indecision
Artist: Eagle Eye Cherry
Comment: I have to listen to the little voices in my head…. Does that mean I’m going to be one of those guys who talk to themselves? It also talks a lot about just doing things for no reason other than that I felt I should and watch out for myself.

What is happiness?
Song: Head On Collision
Artist: New Found Glory
Comment: Having a girl turn me down and make me feel like crap… mhmmm fun stuff

What's my favorite fetish?
Song: When You’re Good To Mama
Artist: Chicago Soundtrack
Comment: EWWWWWWWWW. So either I like big black women or mother figures??? Ummm yea no, not at all. Then again i did make out with mommy gwen to get the volleyball award.. ok i'll take it.

How will I be remembered?
Song: Butterfly
Artist: Crazy Town
Comment: One Hit Wonder???? Maybe as the hot member of the Masque and Lacrosse team? Again, I’d much rather the second one.

ok so some of em id say were dead on and others well yea i guess you can be the judge

Later Dayz

Gotta Love Grandma

So i went out for my job interview today at Vector, which sells Cutco Knives. i got the job and get this i get $17.50 for every house presentation i do or they start at 10% commision, whichever is greater. the presentations only take about a half hour and i can put in 35 presentations no problem in a week. I'M IN THE MONEY LIKE WHOAAAAA. so i am super hyped about that.

Got back after the interview and turned my phone on and i had a voicemail. it was my mom sayin i needed to come home. my grandma had come over for dinner and i guess asked where i was and she bitched out my parents for lettin me walk out. she also yelled at me a bit for ein so dumb but watever ill take it i proved a point. she said that she was impressed that i didnt cave in first though. anyways.... im back in my room and idk i realize just how little i missed my family bein in the car. less than ten minutes back from the car my sister was already bitching ver nothing and yelling at everyone and everything around her and my dad was yellin cuz she was yellin and yea my car was so much more peaceful.

so i guess just about everything is back to normal and the bear i have "Slumbers" and i now have a futon to sleep on and not a backseat of the car... and yes i have a bear a very cuddly one it was a great present from a very special lady

Later Dayz

God I'm So Over Proms

I spent more money this weekend at prom than i did at a formal and i was a guest at the prom. i realized just how bleh prom can be. i mean dont get me wrong i loved my date and the people were so fun but formals are just so much better. i went with my best friend from new york, Kara. she goes to greely hs and the prom was a lot of fun. there was good food, loud music, tons of dancing, and many memorable quotes from the night. by the by sooo many hot girls it was amazin i never saw so many good lookin girls at one prom before. after the prom we headed out to a dance cruise around the hudson from 1-4am. that was fun too. basically it was just a continuation of prom, but included me dressed in flip flops, jeans, and my tuxedo vest.... thats it and i must say not to toot my own horn, but tooot tooot i was lookin damn good. i was also ruled to be the hottest kid not fromo the school, which i did not find out until later, which meant i got no numbers. i must say its a real morale booster to be told somethin like that, i mean i've had a relatively shitastic week and that deff helped to make it not so shitty. then we crashed at this girl hana's house, which meant me kara steph and hana all in one big pull out bed. sadly nothing happened at all, but it was a fun time. then on saturday we went int the city and to a comedy club. this is where all my cash was lost. flowers for prom(cuz i dont no how to spell crosage or however u spell it) $20.00 train ride round trip: $14.50 dinner at TGI Fridays in the city: $25.00 Starbucks: $5.50 Comedy Club (which had a two drink minimum): $55.00 TOTAL: $120.00 now im sorry but as a prom DATE i did not think i would be payin for anythin other than dinner and the train, but whatever not too big a deal just a bit of a bitch.

as much fun as i had i still knew somethin wasnt right i know what it was and i have no real way of fixing it because i did what i could and now its out of my hands, so yea nothin else to do there, but wait and hope.

after droppin soooooo much cash in the matter of 48 hrs i decided home would be the best place to go or more specifically back to my parking space down the street from my house, because after all this mess and confusion and money loss etc. etc. my back seat looked a lot more appealing than spending another day wastin my last $25 and sleepin on a couch at Kara's when im already real tired.

ok so that was my weekend in a nutshell. i got away from some of the shit looming over my head and well the rest of it..... thats not goin for a while. yea it was fun for the most part and probably my last prom so off to my back seat for a well deserved rest

Later Dayz

"I Woke Up In A Car"

Yea and sadly this isnt just a song its wat happened this morning. just when i thought i was on my way up my life hit absolute rock bottom. my job with the moving company is basically over so i have no way to earn money except to work at abercrombie. two nights ago i ruin one of the best things ive ever had going for me and i dont know how to fix it. it literally makes my whole body hurt thinking about it. then last night i get home from work and my parents just had to bring my trial date for my two traffic tickets. i went off on how i didnt want them comin etc etc and then they were like if youre so grown up you can pay for your own finances huh? and i said well you have me payin for college, my car, my phone, anything else i want to do that involves money, and car insurance. so they were like good so you can pay for a place to live then too i guess. after that it was all a raged blur. i packed up a bag and threw my shit in the car. this all happened at like 2 in the morning so when i woke up i saw my mom goin out to the store before the cleaning lady got here (which im splitting the price to pay for her with my sister.. or was) so i went to go get in the shower b4 she got back. go to the front door locked.. back door locked.. the door in from the garage which is the only way in the house usually and is never locked well.. is. luckily if you turn the door knob hard enough the lock will pop and i was able to get in, shower, and throw on some clean clothes before my mom got back. i also got an extention cord to plug into the apartment building sign that is right by my car so i can charge my phone and computer and stay in touch with the world. the cash i do have built up (which isnt much) is goin all towards bulk purchases of nonperishable food. so there you go when they say at least it cant get worse.... it usually will. if i could go back the last two days and change only one thing id rather be stuck in this car than have a real place to sleep and have a friend be so angry with me.

Later Dayz

Blast From The Past

So who would have thought that the best advice i could get would come from a TV show that was a staple of almost everyone's childhood. Saved By The Bell was on and im like oh well i haven't seen that in a while.. why not? so im watchin it and of course im like hmmm that's so whats goin on... how is it that i can relate to a show that i found to be such a good show when i was like 13? then i started to realize something. everything that i've been bitching about to people about how childish some people have been has made me look just as childish. i've messed up a lot this summer and im gettin over my stupid mistakes, but i also just hope that anyone else who i've dragged into it understands that i get how dumb i've been. so this is the last emo-ish blog that gets posted cuz im not wastin another day here bitchin about things that i can't change. i have everything i need just not everything i want and well thats life and im generally happy with my life so i dont see a reason to really complain. i always say just roll with the punches and that's what i'm doin now. i know the deal i'm not goin to fight for something i really cant change and im beginning to accept that. so new george shit from before wont get to me like it used to. as pam would say im being happy with myself right now so yea thats all again last little pitty blog that gets posted

Later Dayz

p.s. CONGRATS TO MY PAMMY I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!!!! SO EXCITED FOR YOU

A Weekend For The Nerds

So this past weekend i was at lasalle's honors board meeting. the honors board is five kids from every year who get together and talk about the honors program......... real fun. well thats what i thought anyway. the first person i saw was joe and it made my day the trip to lasalle was sooooo long and such a pain in the ass. joe told me about Oliver which lasalle was helping to host and since i had nothin to do that night i decided id go. so yea i checked in and talked with joe for a while and then saw allie it was so nice to all these people who i missed so much. everyone who ive wanted to hang out with was there. Gwen was there, i always love being able to hang out with her she makes everything so much fun. i saw nik, katie, dave, davey, amy, and greg. that night i finally got to see gwen nik and katie's new place and it was sooo nice. i had my classy old man glass of whiskey and yea i figured it would begin to taste better as i drank more but no it just got worse.

the next morning i had to go to the honors board meeting at 9am so i had to get up at 7:15 and take the subway back to school. the trip wasnt bad and the honors board meeting wasnt all too bad and we got free food from the union which is always a plus. it really was actually a lot of fun and i no im goin to sound like a nerd for sayin that but really everyone who is on the board is real chill and not the bookworms people categorize honors kids as. we went out to dinner at tgi fridays and it was all paid for by john s grady woo hoo. later that night we were plannin a little get together of the honors kids masque kids and ra's on duty. it was soooo much fun i got wasted and so was everyone else there, including all three ra's that were supossed to be on duty that night lol.

then on sunday we had r conclusion of the honors board meeting and well i had a lot of trouble stayin awake the first two hours. after it was over i headed out with mehow to the china town bus makin a stop at wawa along the way.

all in all it was a really fun time even if it was with mostly honors kids but hey im one too so yea and now im hyped for next years meeting.. not that i want my soph yr to go by any faster than it will already but yea... so thats all for now i got my best friends prom on fri and im sure there will be a lot to talk about then so yea expect a blog entry next week.

Later Dayz