Ready For A Change

So its been whoa long since ive posted last and thats cuz ive been in a rut. life has sortta sucked the last few weeks and im not exactly sure what all i can even do about it.
were out of the playoffs for lacrosse, we have one more game to finish out the season at .500 which sucks compared to what we could have done.
school sucks i have a hell of a lot of work which idk where to strat with
i dont have an internship for the summer and am now only working day one
im not sure how happy i am anymore and if life in general has affected my relationship.
idk anymore so yea thats why i havent posted lately im just gettin over my shit of a life right now and working form there so maybe ill post again in a bit

I'll Cover You..... with Avenue Q part 2

so i went to see rent on saturday with kailin as part of my christmas gift. i wnet and picked her up in the city and then we went to walk around in the city for a while. after a while we saw the 2pm show of RENT which was amazing. by far the best thing i have ever seen. i would have felt like a complete puss during angel's eulogy except for the fact that the guy next to me with his girlfriend was a year or two older and about 30 lbs heavier and i see out of the corner of my eye that he was wiping his face so i was like thank god im not the only guy lol but yea it was soooo amazing. then we decided lets see what else we can do. we ended up putting our names in for the lottery tix for Avenue Q because kaitlin hasnt seen it and of course i end up winning! it was just as good as the first time i saw it and needless to say kaitlin thouroughly enjoyed it. so yea......

RENT - BEST SHOW IVE EVER SEEN (i know i know i havent seen many)
Avenue Q (Round 2) - Just as good as the first time

ok this is a little extra thing i need... i dont care who you are what you say about it etc etc but i need both good and bad things about me either as an ra or just in general. if you feel wierd doin it just post it as anonymous.. thanks

Countdown till im out of this damn house: 4 days 13.25 hours :)

Later Dayz

SCHADENFREUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Making me feel gald that I'm not you........ because you didnt go to Avenue Q tonight. it was quite possibly one of the best times i have had this year. it is such a great show. i dont think there was one minute that i did not have a smile on my face or wasn't laughing. not only wa sthe show great but our seats were really great.... second row!!!!!!! i know i know youre extremely jealous etc etc. oh and so we sit down in our seats and then i look over and in the first row on the other side of the theatre and who is there......... two of my best friends form high school dan and meg deguisto. it was nuts. so it was nice to be able to talk to them and catch up. it was such a good night and on sat i have RENT with kaitlin.

so here you go..
Producers - Great
How The Grinch Stole Christmas - Funny as hell and true to the movie
Avenue Q - Best thing I have EVER seen!!! I now know what Gwen and Mike talk about
RENT - TBA

Yea I Took It From Pam

I saw this at 1am and decided this would help with a lot of the dumb crap thats been bringing me down lately, so here it goes....
List 15 things that you want to say to people but never will. Don't say who they are. Never discuss it again.

1) You missed out. You had your chance and you blew it... and im happy you did cuz i deserve better.

2) You mean the world to me. you never give yourself enough credit for the amazing things you do. its because of you that i had the balls to do the things that scare me. i will never be able to thank you for what youve done. i miss you dearly and i never want to see you leave me. there are times i feel that i dont mean as much to you as others and i try so hard. either way you make my worst day seem so much better by just saying hello to me. i love you and remember you can do anything you want to, just believe in yourself.

3) I have such respect for you just for being here with me this year. i can see why people have said the good things about you and as much as i call out those who talk shit on you i can see where they come from. youre an amazing person and you are unlike anyone else i know. i wish we had more time together, because there is something about you that makes me want to become even closer with you.

4) You let yourself get hurt too easily, and after things happen you never let it go. i hope you see that soon because i ha eto see you upset. you are so important to me and you have seen me through so much shit over the last two years. if i would trust anyone with my life it would be you. you are an amazing friend, i just wish you would let yourself go every now and then.

5) I will always wonder "what if" with you. you are such a great person. you would comfort me when i thought things could not get any worse. i hate that we are not where we were. you are beautiful and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. you make people happy just by being you. you made my freshman year memorable and i will never be able to let you know how much you have done for me and what you mean to me. there are still times where i wil catch myself thinking about last year and the fun we had. the "what ifs" are still around every now and then, but i know you have/will have/had something better and im happy to hear it because you deserve it.

6) Im worried about how you have been acting. your actions are throwing me off and it scares me. i love you and i would do anything for you, i just need to know what you need and whats going on in your head right now. you make me so happy and i would never hurt you or do anything to stand in your way of being happy.

7) You were the reason i am as involved as i am. you led me to smething that has changed my life for good. you let yourself get walked on by those who you consider your friends. stand up for yourself, and take control of the situations you are put in. you know what youre doing so say something. you tend to worry about things and i wish i could help but you need to work some things out yourself and you will see how much better things turn out because of it.

8) I sort of hate you. you have hurt me and my friends and you dont seem to give a shit. you need to grow up reach up there and maybe pull out what little balls you have and be a man.

9) I wish you were around more. you can say some dumb things and act pretty stupid but i still care about you a lot. i wish we could have gotten to know eachother better, but hey hopefully youll realize this before its too late.

10) You are a cuttie we have conected on such a higher level this year, especially november. it has been such a blast and you dont know how hard it was for me to say goodbye to you. keep me in mind cuz youre on my list ;)

11) I said i didnt like you because i felt threatened by you. you are a good person and im sorry for anything ive done to wrong you. youre not only a good person but a good friend. you will do great things with your life and i wish i could be the kind of person you are.

12) I love being around you because you make my day so much brighter. i have only seen you in a bad mood maybe twice and any other time you always have a smile on your face. its nice to see when i feel crappy.

13) Even though i call you a nerd a lot, you are an amazing person. i wish i could have gotten to know you better and i always have had a crush on you. youre pretty much the type of girl every guy wants and any guy would be lucky to have. you are funny smart beautiful and caring. dont ever change because you are so amazing just the way you are.

14) What happened to us? we used to be so tight and now i hardly hear from you. im not too hurt because i have something amazing at school. it would be nice to relive the good times we had together back in the day. call me if you find a minute for me, but dont worry im not holding my breath anymore.

15) You are nuts and possibly one of the funniest people i know. i wil never understand though how you can let this one person bring you down. your friends are always there for you no matter what, dont forget that. you bring something to the group that is indescribable but i am so thankful you have it in you.

ok so heres to a new year that probably has more blind turns in store for me than last year did. may they not hurt to bad when i run face first into the walls, cuz i have a feeling ill be doing that A LOT. oh well heres to no regrets and taking it one day at a time.... god help me

Later Dayz

.........

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Afraid. Confused. Without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested, that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested, that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist. Somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief... and beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

That is all

It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like Spring Time

ok so the lack of snow and cold weather is beginning to really get to me. i just want some snow to jump in and throw at people..... yes i am 10 years old. i just cant get into the christmas spirit without cold weather and snow, no matter how many christmas songs i listen to. anyway..........

I talked with sara last night and i loved it. we havent been able to talk nearly as much as we did last year and understandably so being that we are both so busy we ask eachother to kill us, but never the less, it was nice and we didnt talk about anythign important either, well not important to anyone besides us really. i guess i just miss the old days and how easy everything was last year. by no means am i saying we dont talk now, but its just not as regular and idk i guess i just missed that.

I applied for a job with american eagle yesterday and they said they would give me a call either today or tomorrow...... nothing as of 3pm today. i doubt they wil hire me being that i can only work like two weeks while im back, but i told them i was going to work in the summer too, so well see. if i dont get the job now im deff going back come may for a job.

Why do i really need to get the job now you ask? Well lets go through my debts as of 3pm today:
2 tickets for "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" for my moms christmas gift- $216
2 tickets for "Awesome 80's Prom" for my sisters b-day/christmas gift- $120
1 fuel injector hose and window regulator-manual labor since im doing it myself- $515
total amount owed to my parents as of 3pm today since i have $140 in my bank: $851

Here are the possible jobs i can get:
2 days breaking my back helping my uncle unpack his crap into his new house before christmas- $200-300
lets say 4 days working at American Eagle (assuming i get a job now)- $171.60- taxes
check for working at school- $90.40- taxes
total amount i can make before breaks over:462-562 taking out whatever taxes there may be
so essentially i am only goint to be able to pay for the car stuff while im home if i get any money at all.......... oh this is why i love coming home, extra expenses and a bitching sister

Whatever, I am going to see four boradway shows in the span of two weeks, so bad times can suck my balls. Im going to go see the Producers on the 22nd, Grinch on the 30th, Avenue Q on the 4th, and RENT on the 6th. this will be like a broadway overload for me being that i saw my first broadway show ever, The Wedding Singer, only like a week ago.

Updates were few and far inbetween, but since im at home and only have my RA binder to work on here, it looks like there will be plenty of time for posts.

Later Dayz

Just For You SARAAAAAAAA

ok so im sitting right next to her as she yells to me "UPDATE MOREEEEEEE" so here it is an update.

I STOLE BOWLING SHOES LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and im wearing them right now. they are red and blue and big. I love it.

Im tired of school but i guess im having fun too. Ive been in a mood lately and yea but its cool things like this usually pass relatively quickly with me.

ok time to go to megs honors thing which i dont want to go to nothing against meg but i dont feel like listeing to 9/11 stuff again its still a pretty big deal for me but i guess ill go cuz sara is draggin me. forcing me to do ANOTHER thing for her. LOVE YOU SARA!!!!!!! :)

Later Dayz