Angel Hands

Ready For A Change

2007-04-17T22:45:00.000-04:00

So its been whoa long since ive posted last and thats cuz ive been in a rut. life has sortta sucked the last few weeks and im not exactly sure what all i can even do about it.
were out of the playoffs for lacrosse, we have one more game to finish out the season at .500 which sucks compared to what we could have done.
school sucks i have a hell of a lot of work which idk where to strat with
i dont have an internship for the summer and am now only working day one
im not sure how happy i am anymore and if life in general has affected my relationship.
idk anymore so yea thats why i havent posted lately im just gettin over my shit of a life right now and working form there so maybe ill post again in a bit

I'll Cover You..... with Avenue Q part 2

2007-01-07T20:14:00.000-05:00

so i went to see rent on saturday with kailin as part of my christmas gift. i wnet and picked her up in the city and then we went to walk around in the city for a while. after a while we saw the 2pm show of RENT which was amazing. by far the best thing i have ever seen. i would have felt like a complete puss during angel's eulogy except for the fact that the guy next to me with his girlfriend was a year or two older and about 30 lbs heavier and i see out of the corner of my eye that he was wiping his face so i was like thank god im not the only guy lol but yea it was soooo amazing. then we decided lets see what else we can do. we ended up putting our names in for the lottery tix for Avenue Q because kaitlin hasnt seen it and of course i end up winning! it was just as good as the first time i saw it and needless to say kaitlin thouroughly enjoyed it. so yea......

RENT - BEST SHOW IVE EVER SEEN (i know i know i havent seen many)
Avenue Q (Round 2) - Just as good as the first time

ok this is a little extra thing i need... i dont care who you are what you say about it etc etc but i need both good and bad things about me either as an ra or just in general. if you feel wierd doin it just post it as anonymous.. thanks

Countdown till im out of this damn house: 4 days 13.25 hours :)

Later Dayz

SCHADENFREUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-01-05T00:01:00.000-05:00

Making me feel gald that I'm not you........ because you didnt go to Avenue Q tonight. it was quite possibly one of the best times i have had this year. it is such a great show. i dont think there was one minute that i did not have a smile on my face or wasn't laughing. not only wa sthe show great but our seats were really great.... second row!!!!!!! i know i know youre extremely jealous etc etc. oh and so we sit down in our seats and then i look over and in the first row on the other side of the theatre and who is there......... two of my best friends form high school dan and meg deguisto. it was nuts. so it was nice to be able to talk to them and catch up. it was such a good night and on sat i have RENT with kaitlin.

so here you go..
Producers - Great
How The Grinch Stole Christmas - Funny as hell and true to the movie
Avenue Q - Best thing I have EVER seen!!! I now know what Gwen and Mike talk about
RENT - TBA

Yea I Took It From Pam

2007-01-02T01:12:00.000-05:00

I saw this at 1am and decided this would help with a lot of the dumb crap thats been bringing me down lately, so here it goes....
List 15 things that you want to say to people but never will. Don't say who they are. Never discuss it again.

1) You missed out. You had your chance and you blew it... and im happy you did cuz i deserve better.

2) You mean the world to me. you never give yourself enough credit for the amazing things you do. its because of you that i had the balls to do the things that scare me. i will never be able to thank you for what youve done. i miss you dearly and i never want to see you leave me. there are times i feel that i dont mean as much to you as others and i try so hard. either way you make my worst day seem so much better by just saying hello to me. i love you and remember you can do anything you want to, just believe in yourself.

3) I have such respect for you just for being here with me this year. i can see why people have said the good things about you and as much as i call out those who talk shit on you i can see where they come from. youre an amazing person and you are unlike anyone else i know. i wish we had more time together, because there is something about you that makes me want to become even closer with you.

4) You let yourself get hurt too easily, and after things happen you never let it go. i hope you see that soon because i ha eto see you upset. you are so important to me and you have seen me through so much shit over the last two years. if i would trust anyone with my life it would be you. you are an amazing friend, i just wish you would let yourself go every now and then.

5) I will always wonder "what if" with you. you are such a great person. you would comfort me when i thought things could not get any worse. i hate that we are not where we were. you are beautiful and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. you make people happy just by being you. you made my freshman year memorable and i will never be able to let you know how much you have done for me and what you mean to me. there are still times where i wil catch myself thinking about last year and the fun we had. the "what ifs" are still around every now and then, but i know you have/will have/had something better and im happy to hear it because you deserve it.

6) Im worried about how you have been acting. your actions are throwing me off and it scares me. i love you and i would do anything for you, i just need to know what you need and whats going on in your head right now. you make me so happy and i would never hurt you or do anything to stand in your way of being happy.

7) You were the reason i am as involved as i am. you led me to smething that has changed my life for good. you let yourself get walked on by those who you consider your friends. stand up for yourself, and take control of the situations you are put in. you know what youre doing so say something. you tend to worry about things and i wish i could help but you need to work some things out yourself and you will see how much better things turn out because of it.

8) I sort of hate you. you have hurt me and my friends and you dont seem to give a shit. you need to grow up reach up there and maybe pull out what little balls you have and be a man.

9) I wish you were around more. you can say some dumb things and act pretty stupid but i still care about you a lot. i wish we could have gotten to know eachother better, but hey hopefully youll realize this before its too late.

10) You are a cuttie we have conected on such a higher level this year, especially november. it has been such a blast and you dont know how hard it was for me to say goodbye to you. keep me in mind cuz youre on my list ;)

11) I said i didnt like you because i felt threatened by you. you are a good person and im sorry for anything ive done to wrong you. youre not only a good person but a good friend. you will do great things with your life and i wish i could be the kind of person you are.

12) I love being around you because you make my day so much brighter. i have only seen you in a bad mood maybe twice and any other time you always have a smile on your face. its nice to see when i feel crappy.

13) Even though i call you a nerd a lot, you are an amazing person. i wish i could have gotten to know you better and i always have had a crush on you. youre pretty much the type of girl every guy wants and any guy would be lucky to have. you are funny smart beautiful and caring. dont ever change because you are so amazing just the way you are.

14) What happened to us? we used to be so tight and now i hardly hear from you. im not too hurt because i have something amazing at school. it would be nice to relive the good times we had together back in the day. call me if you find a minute for me, but dont worry im not holding my breath anymore.

15) You are nuts and possibly one of the funniest people i know. i wil never understand though how you can let this one person bring you down. your friends are always there for you no matter what, dont forget that. you bring something to the group that is indescribable but i am so thankful you have it in you.

ok so heres to a new year that probably has more blind turns in store for me than last year did. may they not hurt to bad when i run face first into the walls, cuz i have a feeling ill be doing that A LOT. oh well heres to no regrets and taking it one day at a time.... god help me

Later Dayz

.........

2006-12-22T00:27:00.000-05:00

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Afraid. Confused. Without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone. And just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in. Or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested, that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested, that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist. Somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief... and beyond the heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

That is all

It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like Spring Time

2006-12-18T14:42:00.000-05:00

ok so the lack of snow and cold weather is beginning to really get to me. i just want some snow to jump in and throw at people..... yes i am 10 years old. i just cant get into the christmas spirit without cold weather and snow, no matter how many christmas songs i listen to. anyway..........

I talked with sara last night and i loved it. we havent been able to talk nearly as much as we did last year and understandably so being that we are both so busy we ask eachother to kill us, but never the less, it was nice and we didnt talk about anythign important either, well not important to anyone besides us really. i guess i just miss the old days and how easy everything was last year. by no means am i saying we dont talk now, but its just not as regular and idk i guess i just missed that.

I applied for a job with american eagle yesterday and they said they would give me a call either today or tomorrow...... nothing as of 3pm today. i doubt they wil hire me being that i can only work like two weeks while im back, but i told them i was going to work in the summer too, so well see. if i dont get the job now im deff going back come may for a job.

Why do i really need to get the job now you ask? Well lets go through my debts as of 3pm today:
2 tickets for "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" for my moms christmas gift- $216
2 tickets for "Awesome 80's Prom" for my sisters b-day/christmas gift- $120
1 fuel injector hose and window regulator-manual labor since im doing it myself- $515
total amount owed to my parents as of 3pm today since i have $140 in my bank: $851

Here are the possible jobs i can get:
2 days breaking my back helping my uncle unpack his crap into his new house before christmas- $200-300
lets say 4 days working at American Eagle (assuming i get a job now)- $171.60- taxes
check for working at school- $90.40- taxes
total amount i can make before breaks over:462-562 taking out whatever taxes there may be
so essentially i am only goint to be able to pay for the car stuff while im home if i get any money at all.......... oh this is why i love coming home, extra expenses and a bitching sister

Whatever, I am going to see four boradway shows in the span of two weeks, so bad times can suck my balls. Im going to go see the Producers on the 22nd, Grinch on the 30th, Avenue Q on the 4th, and RENT on the 6th. this will be like a broadway overload for me being that i saw my first broadway show ever, The Wedding Singer, only like a week ago.

Updates were few and far inbetween, but since im at home and only have my RA binder to work on here, it looks like there will be plenty of time for posts.

Later Dayz

Just For You SARAAAAAAAA

2006-11-30T15:30:00.000-05:00

ok so im sitting right next to her as she yells to me "UPDATE MOREEEEEEE" so here it is an update.

I STOLE BOWLING SHOES LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and im wearing them right now. they are red and blue and big. I love it.

Im tired of school but i guess im having fun too. Ive been in a mood lately and yea but its cool things like this usually pass relatively quickly with me.

ok time to go to megs honors thing which i dont want to go to nothing against meg but i dont feel like listeing to 9/11 stuff again its still a pretty big deal for me but i guess ill go cuz sara is draggin me. forcing me to do ANOTHER thing for her. LOVE YOU SARA!!!!!!! :)

Later Dayz

IM SORRRRRY GEEZ

2006-11-29T14:22:00.000-05:00

ok so i know its been forever, so here you go.... an update.

The show was amazing. for all the crap that went down during it, i had a blast doing it and the scariest part was how comfortable i felt up there. it was great to see joe and gwen there after closing night. and joes kiss the cast to me is probably the best motivation i have to go audition for other shows. the cast party was kick ass, as it always is.

I went skydiving finally!!!! it was the best experience of my life. i can hardly even describe it to you. your brain cant even comprehend the fact that youre jumpin out of a plane that high. the gorund looks like a map and you have wind blowing so hard in your face. im so going again. thanks to everyone who pushed me to go.

Kaitlin and i are almost at the 3 month mark which is nice. i feel really good about us and where things are going. school is a bitch though classes are shitty and its hard for me to stay awake in any class, let alone my 8am. i just want classes to be over, but be able to hang out with my friends. and thats comin to an end for a while at least, now that two of my good friends are leavin for the semester. liz and meg are goin away and i am going to miss them like no other next semester. i have had so much fun with liz during the show and meg is well meg. shes always been an entertaining person for me.

lacrosse is lookin so damn good. our team is gelling real nice and we have some amazing talent on the team this year. best part is that we have an actual coach who likes to be at practice and we get to play our home games on the new turf field.

being an ra still is a bitch most of the time but then again it does pay for room and board so i cant complain that much i guess.

Hope this sufices all those who wanted an update.. oh and gwen please dont run over and small children with your bike please :)

Later Dayz

Scared As Hell

2006-10-21T23:27:00.000-04:00

so i have come to the sad realization that i am almost like a real adult. only a few years away from living on my own having to work at a real job doing real adult things. that scares the shit out of me to be quite honest as im sure it does almost anyone who takes a step back and thinks about it. what started this thought process you ask? well being that my girlfriends is a senior and soon to be teacher, i am left to wonder what next? things are going to change drasticly no matter how much anyone says they wont. ill still be in school, only a junior and shell be making real money trying to support herself. no matter what happens between us i do not want to be a deciding fator in what she does. its her life and its moving along for her i dont want to be that person who slows it down. then i got horrible news about a friends dad dying. i felt horrible and then i thought about it... he is only one year ahead of me, that really could be me in his shoes. when my friends dad died in high schol it was like no way that could never happen, but now im begining to realize that reality is a bitch and it waits for no one. when your parents are gone, its you. its you who has to pay all the bills. its you who has to worry about taxes. its you who has to worry about every little thing that goes on in your life. you have no one there to be like dont worry well take care of it.

i really got freaked out when my best friend from high school, courtney, came over out of the blue tonight. we talked about how in highschool we would freak out about college being around the corner in our sophmore and junior year, and now were talking about living on our own and getting jobs. we also brought up that if his was two years form now and we were still going out with our girlfriend/boyfriend that basically we would almost be expected to be marrying that person. that means like hardcore adult stuff... like having kids. hell im a big kid who can hardly take care of yself let alone another completely dependent person. before you start.... yes i know i have years before this all happens and i should cherish what i have now and not worry too much about the future, but really like it is right around the corner. im basically an adult now and im not too sure how i feel about it i mean im still only 19 but then im 20 and yea..... so here you go im back at home looking for relaxation and instead i get smacked in the face with a reality check... oh well.

Later Dayz

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!

2006-10-09T22:30:00.000-04:00

so rehearsal is going ok i guess. i miss all the good stuff though cuz im on duty, which sucks. Kaitlin and i have made it through a month together, which is now officially my longest relationship, if you can count the others as relationships.... i'm so happy with what i have with her, it sort of scares me, but in a good way.

anyways...... as for an explaination of the title.... IM GOING SKYDIVING!!!! you know like jumpin out of a plane at 14000 ft only being saved from death by a piece of fabric. comforting huh? i have no idea how im going to pull this off. i cant look over the ledge of the 2nd floor of the mall without freaking out. climbing up stairs to a 6 ft platform on stage.... yea not fun. please 14000ft ha i couldnt think of anything easier....... maybe staying in the plane? so yea if this is my last blog, fairwell to all. its been a blast.

Later Dayz... hopefully

Grow Some Balls

2006-09-29T10:11:00.000-04:00

This post is meant to offend, because maybe then people will step up act mature and actually settle shit without going behind eachothers backs and trying to hide shit.

Grow up.... we aren't in second grade anymore you have issues with someone say it. I love how especially in the Masque when you go to handle shit you get stopped and told "that's not how we do it here" Okay, so what do you do? You run around and talk shit on eachother behind their backs to your firends and it eventually drags about 6 more people in. This almost always leads to fights between those who know and more shit piles up.

Don't do shit if you don't want to back it up..... We all make dumb moves, but at least own up to it. Don't try to send people on guilt trips when you ARE in the worng.

Your friends SHOULD be more important than hookups... hell I'll even go as far to say more important than a girlfriend or boyfriend. When you basically side with someone talkin shit on your friend most of the time you'll be down one friend... maybe two or three once your friends find out you're playing the shallow bitch.

Don't expect people to come to you when YOU fuck up...... It shouldn't take another person getting thrown into the situation and telling you people are mad at you for you to realize that people are pissed with you.

Now I know I am singling oout the Masque and by no means is this directed towards the group as a whole, but shit like this never happens on the lacrosse team, and that's because we don't act like little pussies about shit. we settle are issues when they come up. Maybe some people show spend a day with the team and learn how to act as somewhat civilized people.

Later Dayz
Oh btw I'm loving the time I get to spend with the girlfriend.... it might just be me, but I don't think this one's just for ass.

It's Been A Long Long Time.......

2006-09-18T00:14:00.000-04:00

I understand it's been wayyyyyyyyy too long since my last post, so this is just to catch everyone up on life. So here it goes............. classes are boring as hell, since my business classes all sound like what I learned over the summer in my job. Seeing everyone again at parties, the Masque table, and classes is great.

Here's the most important stuff..... I am going out with Kaitlin Bonner now. We hooked up at a party and a few days later everyone knew we were going out thanks to creepy-ass facebook. I'm super happy with things, it's been such a blast so far. The scariest thing so far though has to be the fact that Gwen Mike and Joe forced me to audition for the musical, Jekyll and Hyde. The idea of getting up infront of people and singing scared the shit out of me and they all knew it. I think that's why I wanted to do it, to conquer a fear, and also it was for Gwen, who made me promise that I would audition for a show again after Red Herring. Let me say that it was the BEST thing I could have ever done. I got to work for days with Joe on helping me not suck. I guess it worked cuz I actually got a part. Auditions made me so nervous, but the acting part I actually used Joe's advice... become someone else, so I became Joe. As odd as it seems it made sense for me. He told me he would freak if he was on stage not in character and I have only seen him be this amazing actor on the DVD's, so that's all I can picture him as. I decided if I could be Joe fir that audition, I would be fine. Gwen said I did well with the acting part, so I was real glad about that. The song didn't go over so well, or so I thought. I knew I could hit the ntes, but I just got screwed over by my nerves. I could have gone with the easier song, but I was afraid it wouldn't make me stand out as much. I was a bit upset after I was done just cuz I knew I could have done better. The list went up and I was outside standing with Mike and Gwen. I figured I didn't make it cuz of the song, but when Gwen looked at me and said she was proud of me just for auditioning, I didn't care if I made it. We went in and saw my name on the list and I didn't know how to react, but to go over to Gwen and hug her. When we left I was talking with Mike and he said he was proud that I decided to step up and try the song I did and that even though I thought it was bad it wasn't. He said I was hitting notes he was and even if it was bull, it didn't matter cuz it meant so much that he was proud and believed in me so much. The next day Joe Gwen Jo Anna and I were at LA to celebrate with the family. Joe brought out a bottle of champagne. I had such a blast that night. I feel like Joe and I have become so close lately and the same goes for Jo Anna. Gwen, well I couldn't love a person more than I do her. I owe her so much for pushing me to do this.

Ok well that's a lot on like two days and I know I left stuff out, but I promise to try and keep it updated for you guys from now on.

Later Dayz

Ahhhhh so very tired

2006-08-23T22:42:00.000-04:00

I am extreamely close to telling off many people around me because of how inconsiderate, arrogant, selfish, and condecending they have been to me and my friends over the last few days. Now granted I am very tired, largely in part of RA Training going 9-9 everyday, but yea it's come to a point where I can't stand to be around these people.

Enough about the shit I can't change...... I had an AMAZING night last night. This is because I had a great amount of fun and I really enjoyed myself. Sure some parts were better than others, but some parts just could not be matched. I went out with Mike Pervus, Christine Sweeney, and Kaitlin Bonner to the "B-Hive" aka Aaron Spence's place. If you want a more in depth story, whichI must say is quite good, you need to ask me about it, because I won't post it here.

I've been busting my ass the last two weeks and no joke, if it weren't for Pervus and Sweeney, I honestly don't know how I would be handling life right now. It really is that bad. Pervus was right when he said that it was a form of brainwashing that they were preforming on us. It's the same old thing everyday, just said in a different way, and by different people. I have been on edge for so long because of this and I know that it is bad when even I am able to see how much the little things will annoy me.

During training, I have come to wonder a few things about me and my choices. I made some dumb decisions this past week and a half and it's really not like me, so I am trying not to have that happen to me again. There is one decision though that could be very big in all of whom it concerns, but again not something I am going to just post here for all to read. I have met some great people who, without this job I would have never met. I'm glad I get to be so close to Pam and Kate, instead of ALWAYS having to climb the stairs.

Ok the frosh move in tomorrow at 8am, so I should get to bed.......

Later Dayz and Smart Decision Making

"Do You Need Help Peeing?"

2006-08-11T02:44:00.000-04:00

Finally I am back home in Philly. I moved in to my room, helped Joe move up to his apt. and then we went to the Tavern...... Yes, the Tavern, the gay piano bar Gwen has in her blog, and well, I LOVED IT. To see Joe and Gwen together seriously almost makes me cry. The love that they share for one another is just so amazing. Then when you hear the two of them sing together, forget it. That is what my summer was missing.... Gwen and Joe. They just make life seem so fun and carefree, not because of what they go through, but how they handle the obstacles that come their way. If I was to be half the man Joe is, or half the considerate, loving, and caring person Gwen is, I would be the happiest guy in the world. It's crazy to think how two people who you have known for a little less than a year and less than six months, can affect you that much, but they do. I couldn't have hoped for a better family in the Masque. I love the two of them so much, and sure I know about them and what not, but it's not like we have gone through the insane tests of friendship. I know I can only grow to know the two of them better, so this excludes them, but if I were to know one person and care for them as much as Joe and Gwen care for eachother I would be able to say I have led a successful life.

So anyway, let's talk about the bar trip....... The Tavern, a gay paino bar..... Me, a straight guy (but also in the Masque, so it's not liek it shook me too much)..... IT WAS SUCH A BLAST. I will definately be going back, even though at the end of the night when I went into the bathroom an old man asked if I needed help peeing?!?!?!?! Yea, ummmm, no I'm good thanks. Even thought Gwen and Joe said it was relatively dead, the music was great the singing (Gwen and Joe) was great and the last Yager Bomb, which does taste like candy, ended the night on a high note.

I am so happy to be back at school where I am surrounded by people who mean the world to me. It makes me never want to leave.

Later Dayz

Fuck Mrs. Jones

2006-08-04T21:59:00.000-04:00

So with Vector we call clients that we talk about "Mrs. Jones" and well Mrs. Jones can go fuck herself. The sale that I had made yesterday for over $2500 was well..... CANCELLED! The bitch called me up today and said she couldn't buy the stuff because she couldn't get the money for it anymore. Well fuck you lady you can't just pull out of a sale this big, but yea, you can. Now I am $2500 further away from Vegas. I may take a trip to this bitch's house tomorrow and light her lawn on fire or just shit in a bag and light that on fire on her steps. I am fucking LIVID right now. I needed this sale to secure an Assistant Manager position next year. Fuck that.. whatever. I wanted the summer to go slowly the last few days and now all I want is to be back at home with my friends. I miss everyone so much and now that this job is pissing me off thuroughly I can't wait to be done with it.

FUCK YOU MRS. JONES and Later Dayz to the rest of you

What A Week

2006-08-04T12:32:00.000-04:00

Here we go probably my last post before I am back home in Philly, that is unless somethin huge happens. The last week has been nuts. I saw John Tucker Must Die the other day and it was actually pretty funny. I was the only guy in the theatre I mean the ONLY guy there. Jokingly, I was like yea I'll just hit on the girls here and then I realized that 75% of the girls at the movie were like 14 years old...... of course. Then the next day I went to a CUTCO demo with my friend Giovanna. It was her demo, I was there just to see how she did her demo. The woman had a 7 year old girl who wouldn't stop staring at me..... of course. I need to get back to college, so that I can be around girls my age again.

Yesterday I made my biggest sale with CUTCO. The sale's total was right around $2500! VEGAS BABY!!!!!!!! If I sell only $10K more I will be flown to Vegas for free and they pay for hotel accomidations at The Palms Resort. It's all you can eat and drink 24/7. This will be nuts. I have until August 28th to get this done.

I also went to Sports Barn to get my new lacrosse stick restrung. I get to pick it up on Tuesday only one day before I'm back home. I know 3/4 of you couldn't care less about getting a lacrosse head restrung, but hey if all you can do your own thing, I will write about lacrosse. Anyway let the countdown to home begin... 5 days!!! :)

Later Dayz

Please, Ladies, There's Plenty Of Me To Go Around!

2006-07-31T22:28:00.000-04:00

Here we go, the sign that I am meant to be alone, for a while anyway. I had a very rough day. After getting my hair cut, I went to the orthodontist to get a cavity filled. As odd as it may seem, it was the best part of my day. There was a brand new dentist in the office who couldn't have been older than 25. She was soooooo good looking, like not the hot good looking, but like the yea shes gorgeous. Well, anyway, so I was given gas before they began to drill, and all i could think about when she was drilling was "Oh God, my head is in her boobs" and hey it's not really all that inappropriate, because a) she knew where her boobs were b) I was on gas, so I'm just happy I didn't say it out loud, and c) give me a break I havn't gotten ANYTHING since being home. I then ran into the head dentist in the office at the Apple store, and of course he's like of who did your filling?(her name, which I don't remember), the hot new dentist? and I'm like yea. He got all excited and he's like hey man shes single and young. All I could think was "Oh great he isn't even joking with me. He is 100% serious. I am getting girl advise from an old man.

As I am walking out of the mall a group of four 12 year old girls were like "hey what does your shirt say?", so I turn around and tell them and they go "you're cute. We should see if there really is enough of you to go around." Like WTF they are no older than 15. Has it really come to the point where I can't get a girl may age? I have to settle for girls who are illegal? This sucks! Although it is somewhat funny that I can't get the attention of a girl over the age of 16 in NY.

If it couldn't get any worse I had a half numb mouth and a CUTCO demo to do. I got to the lady's house and I told her right away about my appoinment and numb mouth. She laughed, so I thought things would go well. Ummmm, yea, not so much. she laughed in my face every time that i spoke. Even better was the fact that her daughter who also was about 14 or 15 was hitting on me whenever her mom left the room. Seriously??? Like, no, seriously????? Yea I'm just that lucky. So that was my day basically.

Later Dayz

I Did It.......

2006-07-31T16:03:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I actually did it. After many a days wondering whether or not to cut my hair... I DID IT. Here's a pic of it. Let me know what you think, so I know if I have to work on growing it out again before I see you all. Ok well I wouldn't do that, well i couldn't do that, but yea just comment. Oh and I know the picture is dumb, so there is no need to tell me that.

Later Dayz

All Grown Up And Nowhere To Go

2006-07-28T20:54:00.000-04:00

So I have been 110% dedicated to my job the last week, and I knew that it would have some reprocussions, but nothing like this. Last night I was told my family was going out to dinner, but I couldn't go because I had a meeting. Okay I can take that, but when I got home tonight, the house was empty. I called my dad to see where they all were and he said they were out to dinner AGAIN. He was like "yea, I need to go because we are about to be seated". Then I asked where they were and he said that they were at a place less than five minutes away, so I asked what I was going to have for dinner and he said "I don't know but I have to go because we're next to be seated bye", and hangs up on me. Part of me is hurt that I wasn't invited and the ther part of me was hurt that they didn't offer to bring anything back for me. Is this it? Am I like officially "on my own" in a sense. I don't know how I feel about it. This job has so much to offer for me, so I want to do everything I can to take it as far as I can, but it just hit me that I'm leaving for school in less than two weeks. I need a good 48 hours in a day, because I WILL SELL $15K by August 28th, but I want to spend time with my family before I leave again, because being an RA I won't be able to come home whenever I want anymore.

On a lighter note I have made $1103 towards my $15K that will take me to Las Vegas. As our office says "find a way" and I will find a way to sell $15K. Let me know if your parents may be interested lol.

Later Dayz

All The Odds Are In My Favor, Somethings Bound To Begin, It's Got To Happen, Happen Sometime

2006-07-23T21:54:00.000-04:00

So here it is, my third post in two days. Between the stay at the hotel and drive home from the airport I noticed something. All of the fifteen year old kids and seventy-five year old peple had either a) relationships or b) more "game" than I have. There were also the not so great looking guys with the beautiful girlfriends or wives. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a wallow in self pity post, but rather it's a post that has to do with the title. All I couold think about, besides "wow i can't get a girl lately," was that there had to be something just waiting around the corner, ready to jump out and smack me in the face. By all means I'm 10000 times more confident in myself then I was four months ago. I figure I'm relatively ok looking (I know TOOT TOOT), but if these guys can get such pretty girls, I should be able to also. There is no reason for old people to be getting more action than I am though. That is just plain wrong. Anyway, I just found it odd that after all this time I have never been able to hold onto any kind of relationship I've ever had. Granted most have been my fault for ending, and I am more than fine with that. I'll take full blame for it, but what I don't get is that when I really want something and I get it, I don't want it anymore, but when I dont' get it, I just want it more and more. I understand that's just human nature, so I'm not going to try and fight it, but it's also that I think I'm afraid that something real could happen (I know what you're thinking "typical guy afraid to commit"). It's not like that though, I just a) want to get what I am looking for and b) DON'T WANT TO MISS OUT ON SOMETHING AMAZING because I decided to be dumb about it. Basically, it comes down to me asking "why them and not me?", which hopefully soon I won't have to ask anymore, but I'm not going to worry about that. I just found it very funny that all these old people get more than I do.

Later Dayz

PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-23T20:51:00.000-04:00

Ok here are some pictures I took while in Florida:

This is the view from the hotel room:

The AMAZING sunset I was talking about:

The Everglades:

One of the many fish I caught:

There's a gator in the water:

All the family at dinner:

Later Dayz

Why Did The Gator Cross The Road? Obviously Not To Get To New York

2006-07-22T22:53:00.000-04:00

so i am sitting in the lobby of a Hampton Inn in Fort Myers Florida because the plane home got cancelled.... of course. this has been the first time ive even been able to get onto the internet for more than five seconds in a week. so here comes one hell of a post:

the trip to florida was fine, so the trip started off well. when we got to florida, it was sunny and about 85 degrees. it is such a beautiful state all around, i mean if you looked at the sky there were hardly any trees cutting off the view of the sky. you could see all the way to the horizon almost anywhere you were on the island, the island being Marco Island. the sunsets were unbelievable. so we went on an airboat ride and saw some gators, which was insane they were right up next to the boat, granted they basically are pet alligators to the people who run the airboats, but it was still really cool. before that though, on our way over to the ride a small gator went flyin out of the bushes and sprinted across the highway and into the water. the ride itself was insane too. he would take such sharp turns that i thought the boat would flip over into the everglades. i also learned stuff on the airboat ride too. like while we were riding he said that the reason the glades were so dark in color was cuz of the mangrove trees. they have red and black mangrove trees, which make up the everglades. they give off either a red or black tint to the water, which is how they get their names and also how the glades get its color. the food for the most part was spectacular. for our last dinner on the island i had dolphin (mahi mahi... not flipper) in a mango cherry and banana sauce. it was so good i did a knife and fork dance (i will demonstrate when i get back to lasalle). we also went to this Native American Tiki thing where we learned how to make something that they give to people who they care about most it is real simple but really sortta cool, unfortunately i cant say what it is yet. my sister dad and i went fishing one day and i caught a 5' tarpen on a spinning rod, which really shouldnt have been able to hold the fish on, but yea i finally got him in and he was a bamf i had trouble holding him up by myself. there were also the days where i just laid out on the beach and did absolutely nothing. the only downside to the trip so far was that i was the only one who was above the age of 16 and under 45. that is until thursday when i met this 19 and 20 yr old who were there stayin with their moms. both them had bfs so any kind of hookup was out of the question. they left the day after i met them which also meant that i had no one to hang out with. but anyway ive made this post relatively short so ill get to the shit end of the vacation. we got to the airport today like 3 hrs before our flight was supossed to leave and we saw that the flight was cancelled. so we tried to get on the earlier flight to ny waiting on standby that was delayed and basically left the same time but they only had three empty seats and well there were four of us. of course my mom wouldnt get on the plane w/o my dad and she didnt want me here alone, so we all had to stay. we went downstairs to get r bags only to find out that my bag was the only one that they couldnt get off the plane before it had to leave. so right about now my bag is being unloaded at jfk airport and i have no clothes left. r flight leaves at 11:40 am tomorrow and i am more than ready to be back in ny.

only a few more weeks till im back at school and seeing all my friends again. speaking of which i have only seen one of my friends from high school since i started lasalle. i dont no how i feel about that. i mean im fine with it because i have my friends frm school and other people who i didnt go to school with but know really well, but it's also like well i spent four yrs with you and we said we were real good friends, yet i havent seen you in like a year and it doesnt seem to bother anyone. anyways im off to sleep on the shit beds here and hopefully i'll be back in ny before 3pm tomorrow.

Later Dayz

Words Of Wisdom

2006-07-16T22:25:00.001-04:00

So i never put this in my last blog, which by the way was such a task in and of itself to write, since i didnt want to write one, but mongi and i had a real good convo on friday morning. she called me out on some stuff i had never even thought about before. she said i let people talk shit on me and talk down to me. i realized she was right, there are people who i let walk all over me and i do nothing about it. she then told me i better not go for a girk who will do that to me or shed beat me. she was tellin me how shes a classy very independent lady, which we both got a kick out of. idk i have always been the type to put others first and worry about anything else later. part of me just wants to have things work out that i would do just about anythin to have it work out, even if that meant that i didnt get what i want first. she did make me realize though that i am one to tell people that they need to watch out for themselves first, and yet i cant even do that. thats all going to change though. this doesnt mean im goin to turn into this self centered asshole, i mean as much as i want, ill probably still put some people first no matter what, but it will only be thse who i really care about. the thing that really shocked me was that it was mongi who called me out on it, although it really shouldnt have. she has called me out on most things that seemed to be a bad idea. im happy she did though, just another reason I LOVE MY MONGI

Later Dayz

Jersey And Philly Run

2006-07-15T17:29:00.000-04:00

this weekend was so much fun. it started out with trying to pick up kate at the train station. but kate didnt no the difference between some of the letters in our alphabet, so it took a little longer than we had expected since she missed her stop. finally she got to new york and we were on our way. we picked up dino at his place and tried to get to lasalle for the 5 o'clock interview for the new md. well needless to say i wasflyin down the turnpike to try and get there on time but we ended up gettin there around 6. i will mention this only so that kate doesnt end up givin me shit for it. we almost rear ended this asian lady when we were like 15 minutes from lasalle, but if kate didnt miss her stop it wouldnt have happened. so we finally got to lasalle unharmed and actually for the traffic we hit we got there pretty quickly. i got to see so many of the people who made my first year at lasalle the amazing time it was. when we got there i got to hang out with sara, daddy mike, mongi, amy, alyssa, and joe.

seeing sara and mike again was great because i hadn't seen either of them since may. the second i saw them it was like we hadnt missed a beat. i cant wait till we're back at school and i get to see them more than once in two months. seeing joe again was nice too. i'm so happy i get a whole year to hang out with him and get to know him better. well anyways since im "not important" i didnt have to sit in on the interviews, which meant hangin out with bishoff, dino, and joe. then we played edward 40 hands and well, i passed out on amys floor about an hour after finishing the 40 hands. needless to say the next day was not fun at all.

then it was off to pams and the fun pool part pt. 2 with kate alyssa and dino. klaz was there, then liz showed up, and amanda. it was really nice to be able to hang out with them again. greg, davey, chris, jo anna, and scott also came by. we were playing basketball and at one point it was 10 on 2 everyone vs me and dino basically and we still kicked ass. then chicken fights which my neck is reminding me about today. basically it was a ton of fun. this weekend was just what i needed to keep up the good mood. i leave for florida 6am on monday and wont be back till sat night like 11. woooo hoooo

Later Dayz

So Much Fun

2006-07-09T21:09:00.000-04:00

the last few days have been real nice. i have seen relatives i haven't seen in over 5 years, i got an amazing gift from my grandma, and have been reliving the fun memories of freshman year with the masque. yesterday i went up to ridgefield ct to a family bar b q for my cousins' bday. my friend megan from work was supossed to come but didnt have enough time since she had to go down to north carolina to set up her apartment for school in august. it was still fun to just be up to the house i hadnt been to in a year or two. i took a boat out on the lake and just drifted for a while laying back, relaxing, and thinking about everything that has gone on the last year. i came back to the dock and had some burgers and cake. when i drove my grandma home she asked me to come up for a bit, so i did. then she was like listen you drive me to and from your house so much i decided to get you a little gift. i opened it up and it was a book. no, scratch that, it was better than a book. it's called "The Complete Life's Little Instruction Book" and it's filled with great quotes from a father to a son before he left for college. it is basically what i was doing, writing down inspirational quotes and things like that. its so great i spent most of that evening reading it. then i went out with kara and steph, since it was stephs bday. i thought i was going to be able to drink since i was dd last time and they were like next time were drivin u, but noooooooooo of course i ended up drivin and havin the two annoyin ass girls piss drunk. then we went to the diner and kara decided to jump in the drunk kids car who she liked and steph dragged in the kid she liked into my car. all the sudden it gets quite and they r makin out in my backseat! i was sooooo pissed because they were both drunk enough that if there was anythin else goin on i was goin to kick them out of my car. finally after speedin i got to the diner so the shit heads had to get out of my car. then when we were done i had megan call me pretending to be a drunk friend who needed a ride so i didnt have to drive the fuckers around anymore. i no it sounds mean but the more i am around them the less i want to be with them. so i left and went home to a very warm comfy bed :). then today i went back up to ridgefield to do a cutco appointment with george and carolyn keptcher (carolyn is the blonde chick who was trump's right hand woman on the apprentice) well she is my second cousin and i havent seen them since the whole cassidy family went to italy in '01. it was great to see them again. after the appointment i went home and was layin down on my bed. i looked over and saw my baby book right there so i picked it up and started reaidn through it. its amazing how many things have happened to me since going to lasalle and since hanging around the masque. "because i knew you, i have been changed for good" how true it is. i have changed so much since last summer and i realize that now. i haven't been happier and i owe it all to lasalle, the friends i have made there, and even more so than the friends, the family i have become part of.

so kate and i are invading philly on thurs :D. i get to see some of my bestestes. and btw happy bday sara and congrats to sara and meg on their unholy but happy marriage.

Later Dayz

"I Still Believe It When You Say, It's Another Perfect Day"

2006-07-07T18:56:00.000-04:00

so i blew a tire today on my way to see Pirates with kara steph and others. it's k though because i fixed it real quick faced death a few times and came out relatively unscathed. the tired was shredded, like in two pieces and we don't know exactly how it happened. all the sudden the steering wheel just shook like no other and i smelled smoke. pulled over and saw the crazy lookin wheel. put on the spare went to my dads shop put on a new tire with him and all that stuff and now im home.

most would think that this would have ruined my streak of good days........ but alas i am still upbeat about all of it, because i only have to pay like $147 for the new tire, didnt need to get towed, and it was all fixed within an hour and a half of blowin up. i also got a $90 check from the movin company and a $40 tip from the job today. i got to but the rest fo my clothes from abercrombie for half off for work (which put me out $100 but it would normally cost like $200) and well i have been talkin again with daryl (again i know it isnt going anywhere but she is real nice just to talk to). i donno im hopin this attitude lasts with me fr a while because i really enjoy it and there isnt much that can bring me down at this point (knock on wood). i also have a bunch of appointments for vector this weekend like seriously about 15 which is nice cash plus i get to go see family i havent seen in like 2-3 yrs so im hyped about that. ok time for some good old ny pizza and make your own sundaes with my cousins

Later Days

High On Life

2006-07-06T23:30:00.000-04:00

i am loving life right now and its not me to be all woo yea life but its just been so amazing lately. lets see where i left off.... ok well i have been talkin to the purple dress girl (daryl) some more :swoon: so yea thats deff played a part in makin my day feel pretty good. and a thanks needs to go out to mary (C-Unit) for the help. 4th of july with kara steph hannah and many others was great. the fireworks at the kensico dam were real good this year. it was nice hangin out with all them. i dont think weve done that since karas prom. i also started playin basketball again. i made $60 hustling a kid from the camp i used to work at, in basketball which is goin to be some nice spending cash. we played $10 the first game and double or nothing and then double or nothing again. so i walked away the first day with $40. he wanted to play again today s i said sure i could use some extra cash. again we played $10 a game and i won again so we did double or nothing again and he lost.... again for the fifth time. so i walked away with $20 today. on the subject of money, work with vector is going pretty well. it's a lot of fun almost as fun as workin at abercrombie, maybe even more so. i honestly dont no wat it is but its like i can actually see when a girl seems interested in me now :). this new girl who just started with vector who is sorta good lookin a bit odd though, was hangin on me all during the meeting and bbq we had today there is also a girl megan who ive been talkin to who works at vector with me. she seems a lot more normal. then there are the girls at abercrombie. and by no means is this supossed to be an egotistical look at how cool i am TOOT TOOT blog. anyone who knows me knows that i deny any interest a girl could possibly have in me. so this is a new thing for me so let me enjoy it for a bit and ill be over it. in other news kate and i almost have our trip together planned. im really excited to see everyone again but especially kate since i havent seen her since senior week :D. im almost out of debt which is nice and idk im sure ive forgotten stuff i wanted to throw in but hey itll go in the next blog. actually this was a lot shorter of a blog than i thought it would be.

Later Happy Dayz

"Hey There! You With The Stars In Your Eyes"

2006-07-03T22:57:00.000-04:00

so i have had an amazing last three days. things seem like they cant get much better. it's actually quite amazing and quite timely, if i say so myself seeing as i was living in my car like a month ago.

so saturday, as im sure u all remember from my forever long swoon entry, i went to go see Awesome 80's Prom. i don't know wat it was about the show, but i walked away from it with this swagger that i didn't have before. silly i know but really needed.

sunday i decided to go to the pool and hang out. of course because im lucky enough to be irish i burned within the first hour of being there, but i got some much needed color, even if it was pink. when i got home costello and i were talkin and he was like dude go for it with the girl so i decided i would. i mean really, why not? it's not like i'm goin to see her more than one more time in the next six months. he was right. who knew worst thing that would happen is that i dont get any further than where i already was. so i decided id message her on myspace with a little help from c-unit (i know it sounds sortta sketchy, but i didnt end up seemin that way). this is something that i normally would never have done because i would be too afraid to. i attribute this to the show. again i don't know exactly why, but it did something amazing to me. now i never really expected anything to come of this so there really was no feelings of doubt clouding the fun of it all. she messaged me back askin what i had planned for the 4th so i said nothing too exciting, probably just hanging out in the city and then asked her if she had anything fun planned. she never got back to me, but that's fine because in the end i did something totally out there that put myself on the line. the masque also helped me do this because every single person in the masque has played some part in breaking me out of the shell i was enclosed in when i first came to lasalle.

Today i actually went to vist the old camp i used to work at to say hi to people and also well... hustle some of the guys in basketball. the gym was locked up early so the janitor could go on vacation right away so we never finished the game. the best thing though is i began to pick up on if a girl there was giving off any kind of signals, which is unheard of for me. i also got to play in a charity basketball game. it was so much fun. we raised $200 for every game we won. all the money went to cancer research. we ended up winning 15 games in a row before the people asked us to step off teh court so others could raise money. we walked away 4 hrs later having raised $3000. it was such a great feeling. it just added to the wonderfullness (if that is even a word) that began to began to hit me. i also went to go see fireworks today with sara steph steve and hannah. it was nice to be able to hang out with them again.

so as a quick wrap up: i am feeling the best i've felt in a long LONG time and i am loving it

Later Dayz

"Bye Boyfriend"

2006-07-02T00:27:00.000-04:00

ok so mary thank you for one of the most amazing nights of my entire life. Awesome 80's Prom is the best thing i think i have ever been a part of, literally. another thing, since girls get to swoon i have now decided i will swoon too. i am swooning over this one girl in the show, but we will get into that a little later on.

the day started with a trip to my cousins 5th bday bash. not much to say here except it was pretty fun. then i was off to the city for my night on the town with mary a.k.a. c-unit. free show off broadway..... how could i resist? i met up with her at union square and we went to webster hall to go see Awesome 80's Prom. the guy at the door asked for id and mary and i decided i was going to be 23 instead of 18 for the night. it turned out to be a great idea. we head in and this place is decked out in 80's stuff the lights, the music, the decrations, everything. i walked in with my beer and at first i was like wow i will need to be hammered to have fun here, yea not so much. almost immediately i started dancing around having fun and mary and i decided i needed to hit on the swedish exchange student and it was fun we decided wed get married, but then c-unit decided to tell her i didnt vote for her for prom queen, oh well. then this one girl all night kept walkin by and waving and im like wow shes real pretty i really hope she isnt with the cast. this is the swoon girl in the purple dress. so i tried to hit on the prom comittee girl but she wasnt havin it so i brushed her off and walked away. mary and i were dying laughing. then swoon girl...

ok i forwarned mary i was giving swoon girl her own paragraph. so here it goes.... 5'6"ish, brown hair, brown eyes, long purple dress, and just wow. as sara would say swoon like whoa. so she would come up to me and talk with me and did her little act so that i would ask her to dance. so cute. so we were dancing together... i know i normally dont do this. and we role play it all and what not and all im thinkin is wow shes cute, this is fun. so she leaves and comes back later to ask wat happened to my date, c-unit, and i said she left with the foreign exchange student so i was stage and shes like oh good. so we just start talkin and not stuff that had anything to do with the show, which was not good because it just made me swoon harder for her. so she pulls me up when they are talkin about the coach of the football team and how he was leavin and they pulled me up to play jimmy the guy who blocked the field goal that would have tied teh game in the only game that we won all season. it was so fun but then they talked about how i blocked it with my crotch and my balls were in my stomach. thankfully they said coach reached right up there and yanked my balls back down. idk... but they also said i lost my left testicle because of it :(. then more dancing with the beautiful girl in the purple dress, who turns out is also 21, and im 23 (i found that out when we were talking). now were jumping forward but this had me walking tall all night. after the show was over we went to go talk with the producer and so we go down and she was there shes like my boyfriends here and then as we were leavin she goes bye boyfriend and yes i no it was all with the show but mhmmm morale booster like whoa.

and also i had both cheerleaders hitting on me too. granted they were the whorish cheerleader hot, not purple dress girl hot, but yea i was dancing with one who was all bandaged up cuz she passed out drunk and yea she said i reminded her of her docter and that it turned her on. i was laughin so hard dancing with her. then i had the other cheerleader come up to me and shove her ring pop in my mouth im like ummm ok.

i know im leaving a lot out but im sure mary will include anything i forget so check her blog out soon too. the only bad thing is we didnt have a camera for all the things i wound up doing, and there were a lot. it was such a good time the masque needs to go togther we would run that place. and yes if we were able to do that as one of r shows... record breaking ticket sales im calling it now. who doesnt love 80's music, off key singing, dressing up, and dancing around liek a fool?

i also saw one of my friends from grammer school at grand central on the way home she had just seen tarzan and said it was ok, just a lot of people swinging around for a few hours. it was so great to see her and relive what felt like centuries ago.

anyways.... amazing time tonight, thank you mary, morale boosted in a major way over a show, who wouldda thunk it, and bad case of swooning over this one girl, so mary when u get the job with them u r settin me uo with her lol.

Later Swooning

P.S. heres the website check it out youll get a better idea of what its all about, but they dont have the purple dress girl on there :( oh well http://www.awesome80sprom.com/

Two Lives, One World

2006-06-28T00:17:00.000-04:00

i was thinking today about how different things are when i'm at school and when i am home. school just seems so much more simple, while at home everything is so different even though ive lived here so much longer. i began to think about life in philly compared to new york. you realize that you basically are living two different lives and then you realize how much things have changed, you realize one of the hardest parts of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking down the sidewalk to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for eighteen years. I am missing my LaSalle crew like whoa and I got to see most of them only a few days ago. College life is so different from anything else ive ever experienced and i guess im still getting used to having to balance the two and give up on trying to merge the two.

Later Dayz

Reunited At Last

2006-06-27T21:54:00.000-04:00

Monday night i made the lovely trip down to south jersey and it was one of the best times ive had all summer. it all began when i got an im from dino he wanted me to know that he was back in ny and wanted to me to come down and chill with him so i said that he should come to jersey with me for the night. so after my meeting i met up with dino at the train station and we took the trip down to jersey. there was hardly any traffic. i guess we were averaging like 85 mph the whole trip. we left at 5 530 and got to jersey around 715. it was soooo great to see my pammy even though i saw her less than a month ago, but still i missed her so much.

so finally everyone arrived and it was dino, davey and his friend, melissa and her friend, greg, sam fran, rjb, chris, jo anna, gwen, and of course pam and myself. it was sooo nice to see everyone its been so long since all of us have been able to hang out together as a group. good food, good drinks, and good friends all went towards making it a night that tops most others this summer. swimming and chicken fights made for a sore ass neck this morning, but it was so worth it. i got crazy black and blues all over my body. i was dirnking but idk how half these happened. i banged my toe in the pol which is why my whole toe is black and blue but i have em on my arms and shins and even my chest. idk it looks sortta bad but funny too. also jo anna and i were havin a fun time together. it was the first time that we really got to hang out together. gwen and i called up mike to talk with him for a bit since i hadnt heard from him in a while. it was great to hear from him again.

gwen and i had a really great talk. anytime that im with her we have these conversations that are just so amazing i missed that while i was home. we talked for a while about the new people who will be coming into the masque next year and for as much as i was not exactly worried about it, but more idk wondering how different things would be, she explained things to me about it all changes but made sure i didnt think id be "replaced" and her telling me that made me feel so comfortable about next year. i mean granted the thought of being replaced has crossed my mind multiple times, but gwen really made me understand that you cant be replaced in the masque. thats one of the best things about the organization. you hear people talk about how others will take their place and then you step back and realize that each person does something different and unique for the masque and for that they cant be replaced. so for being drunk i think it was a damn good convo. i can never explain in words just how much she has done for me.

ok so just for the record polling on the hair will stay open for a while longer and it looks like keepin it long is in the lead.

Later Dayz

Hair

2006-06-27T15:33:00.000-04:00

ok so a whole lot f people have been telling me how long my hair has gotten and it got me to thinking "when i get my hair cut do i just get it cut a bit or go back to like junior yr of high school?" ok here is where the blog comes in handy.... tell me whether u like the hair long or short and ill get my hair cut depending on what you all have to say about it....
Longer hair:

OR.......

Shorter Hair:

So let me know which you all like better

Later Dayz

I Think I'm Getting Old....

2006-06-27T13:20:00.000-04:00

my sister had her sweet sixteen on saturday night at metro 53 in the city. it was really nice, although i was the only one there who was above 17 besides my parents and the one sketchy father who decided he didnt want to leave his daughter alone at the party with boys being there. well anyways i sat at the bar and it was an irish run club so of course the bartender was this beautiful irish girl, so i sat at the bar eatting some food, drinking soda, and shamelessly hitting on the bartender. hey i have not been able to flirt with a girl in a long time and we all know i couldnt/wouldnt do it with any f my sisters friends, that is, unless i wanted to go to jail. later on in the night the "cotton eye joe" started playing so i was like how is no one dancing to this, so i pulled my mom and aunt up with me and we were in the back of the club and i taught them the cotton eye joe. it then hit me damn im one of those old people who sits at the back of the kids party with the other parents and dances. at that point im like screw it whatever, and we ended up dancing to the electirc slide, macarena, and the apache (yea the dance they did on the fresh prince of belair).

lately my sister and i have been getting along really well and its great dont get me wrong, but it also scares me a bit. shes really began to open up with me and we actually get eachother. at the same time im still the big brother and i still have this urge to like lock her up in a closet and not let her out for like 10 years, but im beginning to get over it.

so all in all it was a great party and katie seemed to have a great time and thats all we were worried about. damn shes like really growing up (i know i sound like a parent but hell shes my little sister give me a break)

Later Dayz

"You're The Only One I Ever Believed In"

2006-06-22T10:39:00.000-04:00

Goo Goo Dolls "Let Love In", great song, my pick of the week. luckily i have it an awesome mix someone gave me :) . anyways, so i got two traffic tickets almost a year ago and finally got the court date for June 21, 2006. being that it was really getting to me i decided to meet up with my friend, who i basically knew since we were born, lauren and go to the bronx zoo. it was just what i needed to get some tension out of my life between working at three VERY inconsistent jobs and now having to face more money going towards car insurance. idk how to explain it but it was just such a blast and i no mary pam and anyone else whos been to the zoo this year.... or ever will agree with me. i got to see an elephant pee this time it was like a never ending stream. sadly, i saw no poopage from the animals, like i did when we were at the philly zoo. (ill put pics of the trip up here when i get them from lauren)

Then i had court at 6. well i really just got to see the prosecutor at 6 to see what she could do in lessening the charges. so i went with the poor college boy, first ticket, three jobs, paying his own tuition, barely getting by role and how if my insurance got raised with the rolling the stop sign ticket i would have to get rid of my car because i couldnt afford the insurance and that would mean i would have no way to get to and from school. so yea she dropped the stop sign to a broken tail light and she held the no seat belt one, but hey no points on the license. judge decided i owe $240 and almost $100 was from the processing fee. like damn really $100 to process it my ass. again all i can say is i have no points on my license. ill deal with the loss of money.

or will i? because i have officially hit the end of my recommendations list and have no one to go see for my cutco job. i was on a role selling it and now ive hit this big ass road blog with nowhere to go. oh go to my other two jobs you say? well abercrombie only schedules me 3 nights a week max with a 4 hr shift and at 7.50 an hour that isnt shit and the moving company only calls me like one a week if that. so basically i owe about $500 between the city of mt kisco and my parents. that god im a usa and work at the presidents office at school because i doubt i will have a single dollar to my name by the time i go back.

Know anyone who needs knives Cutco would be good for them give me a call 914 980 4797
ok shameless plug i know but i need the cash

Later Dayz

"Being Grown Up Isn't Half As Fun As Growing Up"

2006-06-18T20:23:00.000-04:00

ok so originally i had no real title cuz well nothing really big has happened lately. then i realized i started a new job and my sister's sweet sixteen (part 1 of 2) was this weekend. i mean the new job with vector and cutco is goin well. im makin some good cash and the first week is always the hardest because its up to u to find the first few clients. so yea for all those against vector dont worry im still keepin my eyes open for anything thats at all sketchy. home is boring but this job gets me out and driving and when i go see pam the whole trip will count as a write off if i sell any knives there wooo hooo. yesterday was my sisters sweet sixteen party with the family. ill talk about that later on. yea so home's well.. home.

i noticed one thing since ive been back. home is not the same i feel like ive missed out on so much and there is no way to catch up on it. no one seems to want to help me catch up on it either. then with my sisters birthday party i didnt no when it started or who was coming. i knows it doesnt seem like a big deal but when people called and asked what time the party was and i said i didnt no they were like "well dont you live there" or "i mean u r her brother shouldnt you no" thats when it really hit me how much things have changed and it didnt get much better after that. the party was great dont get me wrong but all my aunts were like yea "u see cameron (the next oldest guy to me in the family) i guess he took over for you now that your old and in college" and i saw all them running around follwing his every move and i really miss that now. not the whole running around and being drenched in sweat thing, but the idea of it. idk i dont mind change but hell im an attention whore. thats where anything bad that has happened this summer came from. it was a result of me wanting to be the center of all things. my cousins all constantly talk about me and i love it they all know how old i am, where i go to school, all that stuff but to not be their "ringleader" i guess is the best word to use here, just sortta sucks. i hate to not be needed by people and i dont want it to be that way since i am hardly ever around with school and work.

Later Dayz

2006-06-14T00:14:00.000-04:00

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.Say the following questions aloud, and press play.Use the song title as the answer to the question.NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
Song: Dodo
Artist: Dave Matthews Band
Comment: Someone who worries too much and is afraid to break the rules?? Yea I guess that would describe me pretty much.

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Walking In Memphis
Artist: Marc Cohn
Comment: “Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues In the middle of the pouring rain” I’m going to say umm… not good.

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Don’t Cha
Artist: Pussycat Dolls
Comment: ???????? WTF Either I’m really really vain and egotistical…… or my friends really want on me. I guess I hope the second one???

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Don’t Push
Artist: Sublime
Comment: “I want a lover but I can’t find the time” “Strap with protection or struck with disease...disease Laughter, its free Anytime just call me” Ok it also talks about drinking at a bar all night. So basically all I can look forward to are one night stands? Ehh whatever, I’ll take what I can get.

How can I make myself happy?
Song: The Kids Aren’t Alright
Artist: The Offspring
Comment: Get the fuck out of my town before I get too fucked over? Hey, works for me.

What should I do with my life?
Song: Red Red Wine
Artist: UB40
Comment: Ok, so I’m going to drink wine constantly because some girl broke my heart. Sounds like I grow up to be an alcoholic. WOO HOO

Why must life be so full of pain?
Song: I Don’t Want To Be
Artist: Gavin DeGraw
Comment: So it’s because I have only been doing what others want me to do? I guess.

Will I ever have children?
Song: Sour
Artist: Limp Bizkit
Comment: Yea doesn’t look so good. Wow this sucks, I’m getting a bitch for a woman.

Will I die happy?
Song: Times Like These
Artist: Foo Fighters
Comment: So I leave behind the life I had with the bitch and become completely lost??? Well at least I get a second chance to start over.

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Indecision
Artist: Eagle Eye Cherry
Comment: I have to listen to the little voices in my head…. Does that mean I’m going to be one of those guys who talk to themselves? It also talks a lot about just doing things for no reason other than that I felt I should and watch out for myself.

What is happiness?
Song: Head On Collision
Artist: New Found Glory
Comment: Having a girl turn me down and make me feel like crap… mhmmm fun stuff

What's my favorite fetish?
Song: When You’re Good To Mama
Artist: Chicago Soundtrack
Comment: EWWWWWWWWW. So either I like big black women or mother figures??? Ummm yea no, not at all. Then again i did make out with mommy gwen to get the volleyball award.. ok i'll take it.

How will I be remembered?
Song: Butterfly
Artist: Crazy Town
Comment: One Hit Wonder???? Maybe as the hot member of the Masque and Lacrosse team? Again, I’d much rather the second one.

ok so some of em id say were dead on and others well yea i guess you can be the judge

Later Dayz

Gotta Love Grandma

2006-06-12T21:52:00.000-04:00

So i went out for my job interview today at Vector, which sells Cutco Knives. i got the job and get this i get $17.50 for every house presentation i do or they start at 10% commision, whichever is greater. the presentations only take about a half hour and i can put in 35 presentations no problem in a week. I'M IN THE MONEY LIKE WHOAAAAA. so i am super hyped about that.

Got back after the interview and turned my phone on and i had a voicemail. it was my mom sayin i needed to come home. my grandma had come over for dinner and i guess asked where i was and she bitched out my parents for lettin me walk out. she also yelled at me a bit for ein so dumb but watever ill take it i proved a point. she said that she was impressed that i didnt cave in first though. anyways.... im back in my room and idk i realize just how little i missed my family bein in the car. less than ten minutes back from the car my sister was already bitching ver nothing and yelling at everyone and everything around her and my dad was yellin cuz she was yellin and yea my car was so much more peaceful.

so i guess just about everything is back to normal and the bear i have "Slumbers" and i now have a futon to sleep on and not a backseat of the car... and yes i have a bear a very cuddly one it was a great present from a very special lady

Later Dayz

God I'm So Over Proms

2006-06-11T01:07:00.000-04:00

I spent more money this weekend at prom than i did at a formal and i was a guest at the prom. i realized just how bleh prom can be. i mean dont get me wrong i loved my date and the people were so fun but formals are just so much better. i went with my best friend from new york, Kara. she goes to greely hs and the prom was a lot of fun. there was good food, loud music, tons of dancing, and many memorable quotes from the night. by the by sooo many hot girls it was amazin i never saw so many good lookin girls at one prom before. after the prom we headed out to a dance cruise around the hudson from 1-4am. that was fun too. basically it was just a continuation of prom, but included me dressed in flip flops, jeans, and my tuxedo vest.... thats it and i must say not to toot my own horn, but tooot tooot i was lookin damn good. i was also ruled to be the hottest kid not fromo the school, which i did not find out until later, which meant i got no numbers. i must say its a real morale booster to be told somethin like that, i mean i've had a relatively shitastic week and that deff helped to make it not so shitty. then we crashed at this girl hana's house, which meant me kara steph and hana all in one big pull out bed. sadly nothing happened at all, but it was a fun time. then on saturday we went int the city and to a comedy club. this is where all my cash was lost. flowers for prom(cuz i dont no how to spell crosage or however u spell it) $20.00 train ride round trip: $14.50 dinner at TGI Fridays in the city: $25.00 Starbucks: $5.50 Comedy Club (which had a two drink minimum): $55.00 TOTAL: $120.00 now im sorry but as a prom DATE i did not think i would be payin for anythin other than dinner and the train, but whatever not too big a deal just a bit of a bitch.

as much fun as i had i still knew somethin wasnt right i know what it was and i have no real way of fixing it because i did what i could and now its out of my hands, so yea nothin else to do there, but wait and hope.

after droppin soooooo much cash in the matter of 48 hrs i decided home would be the best place to go or more specifically back to my parking space down the street from my house, because after all this mess and confusion and money loss etc. etc. my back seat looked a lot more appealing than spending another day wastin my last $25 and sleepin on a couch at Kara's when im already real tired.

ok so that was my weekend in a nutshell. i got away from some of the shit looming over my head and well the rest of it..... thats not goin for a while. yea it was fun for the most part and probably my last prom so off to my back seat for a well deserved rest

Later Dayz

"I Woke Up In A Car"

2006-06-08T08:35:00.000-04:00

Yea and sadly this isnt just a song its wat happened this morning. just when i thought i was on my way up my life hit absolute rock bottom. my job with the moving company is basically over so i have no way to earn money except to work at abercrombie. two nights ago i ruin one of the best things ive ever had going for me and i dont know how to fix it. it literally makes my whole body hurt thinking about it. then last night i get home from work and my parents just had to bring my trial date for my two traffic tickets. i went off on how i didnt want them comin etc etc and then they were like if youre so grown up you can pay for your own finances huh? and i said well you have me payin for college, my car, my phone, anything else i want to do that involves money, and car insurance. so they were like good so you can pay for a place to live then too i guess. after that it was all a raged blur. i packed up a bag and threw my shit in the car. this all happened at like 2 in the morning so when i woke up i saw my mom goin out to the store before the cleaning lady got here (which im splitting the price to pay for her with my sister.. or was) so i went to go get in the shower b4 she got back. go to the front door locked.. back door locked.. the door in from the garage which is the only way in the house usually and is never locked well.. is. luckily if you turn the door knob hard enough the lock will pop and i was able to get in, shower, and throw on some clean clothes before my mom got back. i also got an extention cord to plug into the apartment building sign that is right by my car so i can charge my phone and computer and stay in touch with the world. the cash i do have built up (which isnt much) is goin all towards bulk purchases of nonperishable food. so there you go when they say at least it cant get worse.... it usually will. if i could go back the last two days and change only one thing id rather be stuck in this car than have a real place to sleep and have a friend be so angry with me.

Later Dayz

Blast From The Past

2006-06-06T14:57:00.000-04:00

So who would have thought that the best advice i could get would come from a TV show that was a staple of almost everyone's childhood. Saved By The Bell was on and im like oh well i haven't seen that in a while.. why not? so im watchin it and of course im like hmmm that's so whats goin on... how is it that i can relate to a show that i found to be such a good show when i was like 13? then i started to realize something. everything that i've been bitching about to people about how childish some people have been has made me look just as childish. i've messed up a lot this summer and im gettin over my stupid mistakes, but i also just hope that anyone else who i've dragged into it understands that i get how dumb i've been. so this is the last emo-ish blog that gets posted cuz im not wastin another day here bitchin about things that i can't change. i have everything i need just not everything i want and well thats life and im generally happy with my life so i dont see a reason to really complain. i always say just roll with the punches and that's what i'm doin now. i know the deal i'm not goin to fight for something i really cant change and im beginning to accept that. so new george shit from before wont get to me like it used to. as pam would say im being happy with myself right now so yea thats all again last little pitty blog that gets posted

Later Dayz

p.s. CONGRATS TO MY PAMMY I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!!!! SO EXCITED FOR YOU

A Weekend For The Nerds

2006-06-05T15:54:00.000-04:00

So this past weekend i was at lasalle's honors board meeting. the honors board is five kids from every year who get together and talk about the honors program......... real fun. well thats what i thought anyway. the first person i saw was joe and it made my day the trip to lasalle was sooooo long and such a pain in the ass. joe told me about Oliver which lasalle was helping to host and since i had nothin to do that night i decided id go. so yea i checked in and talked with joe for a while and then saw allie it was so nice to all these people who i missed so much. everyone who ive wanted to hang out with was there. Gwen was there, i always love being able to hang out with her she makes everything so much fun. i saw nik, katie, dave, davey, amy, and greg. that night i finally got to see gwen nik and katie's new place and it was sooo nice. i had my classy old man glass of whiskey and yea i figured it would begin to taste better as i drank more but no it just got worse.

the next morning i had to go to the honors board meeting at 9am so i had to get up at 7:15 and take the subway back to school. the trip wasnt bad and the honors board meeting wasnt all too bad and we got free food from the union which is always a plus. it really was actually a lot of fun and i no im goin to sound like a nerd for sayin that but really everyone who is on the board is real chill and not the bookworms people categorize honors kids as. we went out to dinner at tgi fridays and it was all paid for by john s grady woo hoo. later that night we were plannin a little get together of the honors kids masque kids and ra's on duty. it was soooo much fun i got wasted and so was everyone else there, including all three ra's that were supossed to be on duty that night lol.

then on sunday we had r conclusion of the honors board meeting and well i had a lot of trouble stayin awake the first two hours. after it was over i headed out with mehow to the china town bus makin a stop at wawa along the way.

all in all it was a really fun time even if it was with mostly honors kids but hey im one too so yea and now im hyped for next years meeting.. not that i want my soph yr to go by any faster than it will already but yea... so thats all for now i got my best friends prom on fri and im sure there will be a lot to talk about then so yea expect a blog entry next week.

Later Dayz

Ok Ok Jersey Really Is A Godsend (Believe It Or Not)

2006-05-29T18:36:00.000-04:00

ahhhhhh relief does not begin to describe how i felt to be away from the house and with one of my best friends. for as much as i rag on jersey for well.... everything, it was the one thing that has helped me get through this boring ass summer. thank you so much pam for showing me how amazing jersey can be. between boost slurpees, ghost hunting followed by diner runs, swimming with some of my quadropod buddies and dino, and just running around south jersey meeting people and having a damn good time, i dont think i can say anything bad about jersey anymore. so thanks again to pam and jersey for givin me a weekend to remember.

when i finally got to pam's house after a relatively long ride, we went over to go see pam's friend jen. thats was sortta a funny trip especially when i walked in i was yelled at to get oout of the room cuz jenna wasnt "presentable". i had to wait in the living room with pam till she came back down but yea i had such a good time talkin and hangin out with pam and jenna. ok so boost slurpees..... good stuff. supossedly they are pretty popular by pam and i can see why.

after we got back to pam's i was told i was going ghost hunting with her jenna and some of their friends. ummmm ghost hunting yea sure ok. now granted ive had my own experiences with a ghost, but for some reason i laughed at the idea of ghost hunting. so we go out and find an amazing watchtower in the woods. you could see forever out into jersey it was really beautiful. we decided to go take a walk in the woods cuz it was still light out and then when we decided to come back we saw a car drivin up the road. we all freaked a bit cuz well hey i dont need to be gettin picked up by a ranger in a different state. it ended up being an old woman with her dog. so we left there and decided to go to a different place. im drivin my car and this dirt road is skinny as hell, but im a new york driver, it doesnt scare me. i dont no if it was the boost slurpee or the sheer rush of the outting, but i was hyped i felt my arms get all tingly and i was ready for just about anything. so we pull over at this demolished building and hang out there for a bit. we went for a walk in the woods and yea that turned out be a wonderful idea. while walkin one of the guys sees somethin behind us, so we start to walk a little faster so were not eatten by a ravage beast or some crazy ass piney's dog. we jump in the cars and start to jet out of the path when all the sudden a set of head lights turns on, but there wasnt any path for it to have come out of so we dont no where it even came from. it kept speeding up and we began to freak well billy d and jenna did i was in the second to last car so we figured if they got caught then we would have to worry about our asses then lol. it was a true test of new york city drivin and i would say that i passed with flying colors doggin potholes while flyin at like 60 mph on a dirt road. needless to say we all got out safe and alive. some of us were more shaken than others (its ok billy we didnt lose any respect for u even though u cried and peed urself). we hit up the diner and got some food and almost got into a fight, i wish we couldda thrown down with those bitches.

on sunday we went to mass and the had some REALLLLLLLY good doughnuts. then we went out to get a movie Transamerica which is a crazy weird movie but it was ok in retrospect. then we had a woodward family bar-b-q, which was super cool and i love her family. so then dino and elise came over since she was visiting dino in philly. we all went swimming, watched shakespeare and just sat arouond talking and joking around. it was great to see her and dino again.

monday we went over to cold stone and got some free ice cream cuz of pams connections wooo hooo. after that we hit up billy d's place for a bar-b-q and i got to see all of pam's bestests. then sadly i had to leave for home.

all in all it was an amazing trip and i wish it wasnt over but hey that just means im that much closer to going back to school and seeing everyone again :)

Later Dayz

"Dazed And Confused"

2006-05-25T23:59:00.000-04:00

I am sooooo f&^%in lost. i mind as well have been spun around in circles and dropped in the middle of asia. idk why i used asia, but it works. so many things have been goin down lately and im not sure how to deal. i mean im dealing dont get me wrong, but i dont know if im dealin with it the right way. its nothing to serious just enough to make me feel it, let me know its there, doesnt let me forget it either. im lucky though i have a great group of people who are more than willing to let me bitch to them about it and they never complain. i love them for that. i wish i could return the favor to them. you guys knwo who you are. things are bound to get better though because now i have work to take my mind off things and jersey will be a gift from god. i need a break from my normal rutine. i need to have an escape from reality even if it's just a weekend, because a weekend with pam can cure anything. the weeks following..... well we'll see how it goes. things wont get worse before they get better though that im sure of. i wont let it. so i gave some advice tonight and i said that you just had to go with it and deal with the bad stuff cuz it is outweighed by the good...... i wish i could believe that myself. ive also found out today that people who you would never expect may say things about others that they trash on them for and yet that person can do the exact same thing and not even notice it. idk im not a fan of that. anyways its gettin late and for once i have to get up early for work...... finally woo hoo. so work at the moving company 8am-5pm and then abercrombie from 6pm-10pm

Later Dayz

Box O' Fun

2006-05-25T08:38:00.000-04:00

so its 8:30 am and im up writing a blog. why you ask? well, when you dont have a job to go to you tend to be able to write as many blogs as you want and when your mom hires a cleaning lady to come at 8:15 and you have to let her in, well...... yea you tend to be up pretty damn early. hence me being able to write this blog at the time i am.

so i got this box yesterday and it was filled with some real god stuff. if i was going to be reminded i was still a masque kid this deffinately did the job. it had a bouncy ball, bubbles, PEZ, Pashe 10, coloring book with crayons, which i've already started to use, a cuddly bear, and an amazing cd. thank you soooooo much sara because you have killed my summer bored for the moost part. i'm sortta stuck in the house because i can't afford to be wasting gas if i dnt have a job to get gas money, so to get this package really made my week.

it's almost the weekend, which means i'm that uch closer to working at abercrombie again. i love working at that store. even though the pay is crap i need the discount and the people and atmosphere is great. but really im excited because the weekend means i get to see my pammy again :) i can't wait shes promised me a weekend of fun and in turn i've promised her a breakfast of new york bagels. i really need this break from home because even the little things are beginning to get to me here. it's goin to be real hard to put up with my family till august 10th and i know that sounds mean, but it's true. i still havn't seen a single person from high school and i might be gettin played y a high school chick, which i will not allow to happen. i should have expected somethin since i really am not supossed to have any luck with girls. i may have to swear em off for a week or two. i know i know the winner of the volleyball award swearing off women, but it's got to be done. whatever now that i'm going to see my pammy I'M TOO EXCITED TO SLEEEP!!!!!!

Later Dayz

Poor Poor College Student

2006-05-23T17:48:00.000-04:00

ok so its the 6th day of no work and i dont have any work tomorrow. i'm no longer pissed i am fuckin livid!!!! i need money for tuition and these damn day workers are takin my money from me. ok so heres the question do i quit my $12 an hour job for my $7 an hour job at abercrombie? i enjoy abercrombie, i mean its a fun place to work, but the pay is crap compared to working with the moving company. so i've wasted sooo many days sittin at home when i could have been makin great money. ahhhhhhh this sucks. anyways if anyone is bored and wants a tour of the greatest city in the world let me know because chances are i'll be sittin at home lookin for somethin to do.

Cuz When It "Hurts So Good"

2006-05-22T15:26:00.000-04:00

so once again im sittin on my ass at home with nothing to do. why you ask? well that's simple. it is due to a douchebag company that is running itself into the ground. fraioli and quigley moving comapny, although really good pay ofr someone like me at $12 an hour plus tips, is making me even more broke than i was in the beginning. i've been homoe for 9 days now and i have only worked three of those days. last summer i would have been working 7 or 8 days by now. the company is goin to hell with no customers and a staff comprised of mostly illegal immigrants. normaly i would say watever but i need the cash to visit people and pay for college so basically FUCK YOU ILLEGALS WHO ARE TAKIN MY JOB!!!!!!

now that i have that off my chest i will go on with what i had originally intended to post..... so ive been a little off the last week or so to say the least and im sorry bout that but seriously thank you guys for helpin me along u no who u r and for any friendships that i may have made uncomfortable even for two minutes im sorry im over it and good to go... i promise

since i had the day off i figured it would be a great day to start the "kick myself in the ass till im back to the guy i was a year ago" workout plan. it was wonderful two, two hour long lifting sessions and an hour and a half run. i love lifting especially when your body gets so tired it feels like your muscles are wrapped up in cellophane and theyre ready to rip open. i know im a bit of a masicist but what can i say i love the push to go one step further than you thought your body was ever physically capable of going, getting that one extra rep in before letting the weights fall. benched a new best which im happy with and by the weekend i hope to be lookin somewhat like i was the end of my senior year in high school. cuz although the pic aint all that classy i was lookin relatively beast. so well see when i can get back to that.

Later Dayz

My Pammy

2006-05-21T01:49:00.000-04:00

I LOVE PAM WOODWARD!!!!! She is the best friend ever and everyone should know that. i miss her so much and i cant wait for next weekend when i get to see her again :) love you pam thanks for everything see you soon!!!!!

Oh What A Night

2006-05-21T00:41:00.000-04:00

no matter what anyone says i think da vinci code was an amazing movie. it was so much like the book i loved it. its one of very few movies that i would go see again in the theaters. it was probably one of the best things that has happened this break hopefully it wont be the last especially since it looks like im goin down to jersey for next weekend.

ok so ive had to come to terms with a lot of things lately. i see it as a good thing and a well a shitty thing too. some of it i needed to deal with eventually so i guess its better i get it over with now as opposed to later. i tried to get some stuff out in the open so it could be taken care of tonight but yea that didnt go as planned. eventually somethin needs to be said but i guess it wont be tonight. there are so many people who know yet who should no doesnt. idk this is just me ramblin at this point. so thats that i started hangin out with this great girl but i havent even really been able to truely apprechiate it. so no more bitchin im just goin to roll with it no more worryin about things i have no control over im takin what i have an being thankful for it

Later Dayz

Thanks Pam

2006-05-16T00:22:00.000-04:00

so i thought i was fine when i left school. i figured "ok i can be a sophmore now." i got thorugh all the hard times this year, not exactly with grace, but i got through it. from school work to lacrosse to the masque, inductions, kiss the wall, and finally watchin gwen walk at graduation, it all has made such an impression on me. the people ive met this year have changed my life and i will never forget them for that. now im home, nowhere near any of these amazing people, and i begin to wonder...... if i made the impression on these people like they said i did, who is to say that someone else cant and wont do it better than me next year. and all this is thanks to pam after readin her blog. as much as i love u pam, i can hate u sooo much for getttin dumb ideas like this in my mind. i mean we all know she has nothing to worry about shes great on stage and is just has this presence in whatever she does, whether she admits it or not is a different story. now dont think this is a whole pity post im just writing things out to see if it will slap me in the face and say im being dumb. really though pam does acting and shes great at it and kate well she does such an amazing job at tech but im just there i mean sure i do tech but nothin to the extent of tech and i dont act. all i have going for me is being the funny kid or giving massages or being the drunk who does upside down pushups. im fine with that being me but unlike pam or kate its nothing that cant be imitated or improved on and i guess i just worry that as much as people say im liked now, its easy to be looked over when you cant back it up with stellar acting skills or crazy experience and talent in tech affairs. idk i just love where i am right now and ive never been one to like change but ive alwasy been willing to deal with it when need be. i guess ive never been so happy with how things r that i would do anything to keep things the same. i also get the fact that the sophmores/juniors however you want to refer to them as went through it and sara has been so great in trying to convince me that although it is a change it wont be too bad. im a jealous person by nature i love being the center of attention even if i act like i dont. i know ill get over it well i hope i do and i really am lookin forward to the new frosh. i hope there is someone who reminds me of myself too, because i have been changed for the better because of the masque and i wish everyone could go through that change. idk so many mixed emotions about next year and ive been rambling for a long time now about nothing. no matter what happens next year ill still be part of the masque which is all that really matters i joined cuz i wanted to feel like a real part of the masque family and i have that now so i shouldnt complain.

Later Dayz

Are You Thinkin of Me Cuz I'm Thinkin of You

2006-05-15T00:13:00.000-04:00

sooooo much stuff happened this week at senior week. the good the bad and the ugly doesnt begin to describe it. it started off sortta slow but thankfully i had a few people to help me get thrugh it with a kick ass game of manhunt and mafia. redoing the theatre was a lot of work and a whole hell of a lot of paint fumes, but all in all it was a good time. the green room looks amazin with the newly painted bathrooms and makeup room, a boom-able "no boom room", and a new place for the power tools :) next year is goin to be so nice to work on tech.. so much easier with all the work we did to bad we have a show that will drive us all insane.

ok so if i learned one thing from senior week its that you can drink every night and it never gets old. literally every night there was somethin goin on. it was either Dave was havin a party in his room or the C71 true farewell gathering. either way i was wrecked and yea well beer pong deff helps the beer go down easier. once again i ran the table every night i played at Dave's. at C71 i had a drunken heart to heart with dino again and this time after we talked about how amazing fax machines really are. i mean think about it how does it send pictures and letters and numbers to anothewr fax with no scanning just a telephone signal???? well leave it to dino to have me thinking after school is out and i am drunk. but yea there were some nights where i was the sad drunk and i screwed a few things up with people this week but thankfully we talked and were all chill now. i needed these people the whole week and i was dumb enough to push them away for a while. they know why i did it and i hope they can forgive me because i realize what i did now and i deffinately regret it. i did get to bitch out the SDR up at north multiple times which was always fun especially when she thought that sara and another girl could carry the fridge down three flights of stairs wat a bitch that woman(if you can call her that) was, but yea i was crazy heated from that.

so then came graduation and wow my m.o.m. is officially a college grad. shes worked so hard for it and i am so proud of her for everything shes done. all of the seniors looked so great today they all looked so happy and i couldn't be more happy to have seen all of them walk today. it sortta put a surreal spin on things too. now its like official im a sophmore and i had such a great time this year but where the hell did all that time go?? well it was fun and ill never forget what ive learned this year and the people ive met this year has changed my life even with all the up and downs i wouldnt change it for the world.

now this is probably the most insane thing to have happened to me all week..... so we were watchin RENT and we had chinese food. i dropped a bit of sauce on my phone and went to wipe it off before it ruined my phone. i picked up my phone and didnt realize there was sauce n the back of the phone too. of course the phone slipped out of my hand and into the boilin hot container of sweet and sour sauce. so without thinkin i grab my phone out of the sauce and then realized how much my hand burned. so oim shakin my hand tryin to get the sauce off my hand and so it went everywhere. then mongi called my phone and i actually tried to answer idk i wasnt thinkin to well. so my phone esentially turned into a pager. i could get and send texts and see if people called me but i couldnt talk or hear people talking to me. now that i look back on it i think it was pretty damn funny. sara and i also gave each other tattoos with marker at daves wen we were wasted... good times

next is summer and work at the moving company and abercrombie. hopefully ill have some time for fun in jersey and Pa. i need to see people because all of them have become such a large part of my life in such a short time. so i will do whatever i need to in order to keep them there and not have to take a 3 month break from them all. ok well i need to start unpackin so here is to all my seniors and my wonderful friends hope to see you all soon. thanks again to the people who stood by me this weekend wen shit got real bad you know who you are and you will never know how much youve done for me love you all

Later Dayz

WOW I WAS GONE!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-06T00:11:00.000-04:00

ok so first let me start by appologizing for all those who hurt their head by trying to read and understand my last post i was gone and was not lookin back... but such a fun night. and just so we dont forget i ran that table

im finally done my freshman year in college.. well i dont want to say finally because with the end of the year comes a lot f things i dont really want to deal with like graduating seniors, friends who wont be back next year, and of course working with the moving company and abercrombie. is it worng to wish i was back at school? i mean sure i miss my family, but we get along so much better when we are a few hours away and not seeing eachother everyday. ive made so many amazing friends, two of which live in new york, so with working so much im afraid i wont be able to see them that much and i think that is the one thing that would keep me sane this summer. whatever since im bein an ra ill be back like the second week in august and there is still all of senior week so everything is chill. ok off to do laundry and try to unpack some of the shit i brought back with me

Later Dayz

I Can't Believe It's Really Over

2006-05-05T05:00:00.000-04:00

so i dont understand how a whole year can go by and i ma lost in he process. the friends i have made will never be forgotten, even though some are leaving the school. never will i meet such a group of people like i have in since joining the Masque. gwen has done so much for me and i wish there was something i could do for her at this point. i have never felt such a connection to a person besides gwen, that is until i saw sara. therse two girls and gwen would have blown the final to piece without a secind thought. i wish i had the determinataion and drive that these girls had.
crzy fun today first i thought i missed my 10 30 final but it trd avtoeh mebiele in tyto be 12 3o so i was sooo happy. and then after that we went to a fake prom/ case race and i dont want to make and her nice. watever i ran the table tonght and "I DONT EVEN FUCKIN CARE"
well yea so ive been crazy week fun need and lift. u gt thit serioysly.
k so im out for this enight a count to be di ASSA. ok well i will se u oll tomoorrow

Real Men Don't Cry

2006-04-30T14:45:00.000-04:00

so masque formal was the shit i never have had such a good time at a formal. everyone was so happy and it was such a laid back fun night where all the theatre kids gt to dress up and act all classy. i loved rockin the tux. and winning the volleyball award was awesome... i don't have to whore myself out anymore lol. and only one word can describe all the ladies there.....wow..... every single one of them looked immaculate.

and this title...... well yea thats crap because i spent the last 17 shortest hours of my life ballin my eyes out like i little girl and i will never forget it. Kiss the Wall is probably the best experience i've had with the Masque or LaSalle only because i spent almost a whole day, 17 hours, with the people and friends i care about most Sara's mom said that no one is worth talking about for 16 hours and she was right i don't think 16 hours is enough. hell, i didn't think 17 hours was enough. i just met some of these seniors and it hurts so much to let them go you'd think i knew them since high school. i would be lying if i said i didn't think it was going to be hard, but i never thought i'd be as much of a mess as i was last night and this morning. as much as i tried to get myself prepared for it, watching Gwen get up on the chair and kiss the wall and then take her final bow broke my heart. i have never been attached to someone so much as i am to her and i have never made a friend like the one i have in her so quickly. i wish i had more time, but i know even if i did get another year i'd wish for the same thing next year. thank you for all those who were watchin out for me last night, who knew how hard it was for me to try to keep it all together, Kate, Pam, Elise, Meg, and especially Sara. the only part about last night that i really enjoyed was being able to sit with you on the couch crying and you saying you wish you could protect me from this stuff. that meant more to me than you will ever know.

To Gwen, even though i knew i would not be able to speak last night, and well i didnt really, i hope that you can see what an impact you've made on my life in the short time i've known you. you will never understand how much i love, respect, and look up to you. seeing you kiss the wall last night was the hardest thing i've ever done and i guess in a sense thats a good thing, but i didn't want it to be you. youv'e been my support for the time that i've been here and i don't know what i will do without you next year, even though ur living a little while away. there is so much i want to tell you that i could never express in words so for now i guess i'll have to settle for an I love you and i will see you later because i will not let this be a good bye.........
later dayz

Craziness is my life

2006-04-23T23:25:00.000-04:00

ok so its been a while or at least its felt that way.... so much stuff has gone down both bad and good, but idk how im goin to make it through this week and keep my sanity. ok so thurday we went to the zoo instead of goin to my history class and let me say it was soooo worth it we saw a rhino take a huge shit and literally two min later i saw an elephant take a shit. "its penguins!!!!" i wanted to steal the outcast one but everyone else wouldnt let me. and just to let u know if anyone says duck sex is consentual they lied it is a full out rape trust me i saw it. i also was goin to try and pet the peacock but it looked ready to chop my finger off. right after i went to my game where we got destroyed in what ended up being r last game of the season. i went out drinkin that night so that almost made up for the fact that we lost cant remember exactly where we drank but yea then fri we had a case race where i redeemed myself form the last one and we only lost by like 2 minutes. saturday came in a very unpleasant way. woke up with a bit of a hangover and yea not feelin too hot, but sadly the game got cancelled which pissed me off because i would have liked to send our seniors off with a win. anyways i drank afterward with sara and allie and my lacrosse boys over at the apts. sooooo good its been a while since ive played beer pong. cuddling is always fun too that may have made my night because beer pong and cuddling is wat makes my world go round. today was closing night for shakespeare which was amazin by the way its goin to be sooooo wierd next year without the seniors ive just started hanging out with them all so much and its so fun but yea this friday is the formal and i am super hyped about it goin in my tux goin to look damn sharp. but before that i need to finish this history paper 12 pgs on german propaganda in ww1 and ww2 due thurs then i have to read a book on the last supper and realte it to davinci code and write another 12 pg paper for monday so i need a break from writing that paper which is why i am makin a blog so the next week will be hell until friday and if i survive this week and formal i may write another blog
later dayz

WTF does not begin to describe it

2006-04-19T03:19:00.000-04:00

ok so im readin my lacrosse magazine and i realize i could have had so much more than what i have now. if i kept up with runnin id be winning mile races here and a contender in cross country meets but no i sortta fucked that up a bit and then i thought bout well damn if only i played lacrosse in high school who knows where i would be right now but i didnt do it because of track. so i only began to really think bout this wen i read an article about a kid in new york who had bone cancer went through chemo and radiation and shit and still will be playin for john hopkins next year (2005 ncaa champs in lacrosse) so hell why cant i have that kind of determination anymore? what did i lose since coming here that has made my whole mindset change? idk but its 3:30 am and i have work at 8am. tech..... well tech was the usual long ass project, except this time i actually got to help build somethin instead of waitin around for paint to dry. had a nice heart to heart with kate for a good hour in the lounge which was nice got my mind off things ok well now im goin cuz i have to clean my room since doug is gettin a visitor tomorrow at 7 fuckin am . god help him if i wake up before him because of his alarm....... there will be blood.
later dayz

Naming

2006-04-16T21:27:00.000-04:00

ok by demand of melissa i need to let everyone know she was the one who dubbed me "Angel Hands" so there u go mongi you now have the respect that you deserve

Home Sweet Home?????

2006-04-15T18:08:00.000-04:00

WARNING: this blog came at a time when craziness was happening so it's pretty damn long.

Okay so what is better than coming home for the weekend with a 12 page paper to write? Coming home on Easter weekend with a 12 page paper to write and of course your parents want to be with you every waking second of the day. Its okay though, they will understand how much work I need to do and leave me alone. Oh wait no they won't. It's been a very crazy weekend so far. So much shit's gone down, some I saw coming and other things just came from nowhere to smack me in the face. Whatever I've always rolled with the punches and I guess it's time to do it again.
Getting home on Friday was enough adventure for the whole weekend. I wake up at like 7:30, so I can catch the 8:22 shuttle to the subway station with Kate, but had to call a security car because someone overslept :cough Kate cough:, but whatever that wasn't to big a deal I wasn't on a schedule anyway. I jumped on the China Town Bus (which by the way is soooo cheap and kick ass) and I got to New York in a record time of 1 hour and 40 minutes. That's when I realized I had NO money in my wallet, but I had an ATM card, so I'd take ney out to jump on the subway and then the train home. No that would be tooooo easy. Of course i only had $6.23 in my account, so I couldn't get any money. I called my dad and he said he could only go to Madison Square Garden to get me and couldn't get into China Town because he was pickin my mom up at the airport in two hours. What do I do? I WALKED FROM CHINA TOWN TO MADISON SQUARE GARDEN!!!! For those unfamiliar with NewYork, the two are nowhere close to each other. I walked for about 50 minutes carrying a container and bag of winter shit I was going to leave at home. Now not only was I walking 50 minutes and a crazy number of city blocks, but I was carrying over 100lbs worth of clothes and containers. $2 would have gotten me there, but I didn't even have that. Finally I made it to MSG and I figured the worst would be over...... dumb move George.
At home I unpacked my bag and tried to work on my 12 page history paper, but it didn't work out to well. I gave up on the paper for a while and wound up having an interesting talk with Meg, which I saw coming and had absoluely no bad feelings about in the end. More talking with more people made the night go by fast with no dents made in the paper.
Saturday i was all ready to hit up the library(on my own accord mind you, this is VERY rare) and break into the history paper, but no way that could happen because again that would be toooo easy. My mom decided this would be our day together. She took my sister and me out to breakfast and then we went with the family to the cemetery to my grandpa's grave. It's something we do every Easter and Christmas and i began to think about how much I've changed not only this year, but especially in the last 5 months or so. I dont know what sparked this thought, but something did and I realized that I left feeling real good about where I am in life and that's odd for me, since I'm almost always stressing about something and being pulled in three different directions at once. We went out to the mall for a while, which obviously led to nothing productive and finally we came back home. So now that I'm home I should be doing work, right? WRONG. I've been being jealous of Sara for going to the beach all day and just sat around watching Remeber The Titans, that is until I thought of starting this blog.
Okay well it's time I got crackin on my paper because it will never get done at this rate.
ONLY 2 MORE LACROSSE GAMES LEFT THIS SEASON----- IF YOUR READING THIS YOU NEED TO COME TO AT LEAST ONE.
Later Dayz